This might sound like an oxymoron, but where can I buy a really good fruitcake? —Chris K., St Louis
Perhaps due to the mass-produced versions of dubious provenance, fruitcake has long been the butt of countless jokes, the most repeated one attributed to the late Johnny Carson: "There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep passing it around.”
Maybe it’s the otherworldly green cherries and pineapple that turn people off. Or maybe, as SLM dining critic Dave Lowry suggests, the short shrift comes merely from competition at the holiday table: “In the sprawling maelstrom of cookies, truffles, fudge, candy, rum balls, and croquembouche that forms over Christmas like a hypoglycemic Cat 3 hurricane spiraling toward the Caribbean, fruitcake is just one more gust of a dulce breeze that barely registers.”
Regardless, it’s a confection with a long history. In ancient times, the Romans used a cake fortified with fruit, nuts, and seeds to nourish its troops. Fruitcake later morphed into a dessert for special occasions and now enlists candied and/or dried fruit, plus a variety of nuts and spices. Now enjoyed in countries across the globe, many fruitcakes contain liqueurs, brandy, bourbon, wine, or rum.
Many people claim that alcohol-laced fruitcake improves with age and that if it contains copious amounts, then it can be preserved for many years. According to this article in The New York Times, a 106-year-old fruitcake discovered in 2017 was described as in "excellent condition" and "almost" edible.
It’s eminently edible if freshly baked, of course…but not too fresh. At Assumption Abbey in southwest Missouri, Trappist monks age thousands of rum-injected fruitcakes every year for at least three months before releasing them for sale across the globe. “Some kind of magic happens there. I couldn’t tell you exactly what,” bakery manager Michael Hampton previously told SLM. “Once it’s injected with the rum and it sits on the shelf, it tends to bring all the flavors together.” (Read more about the history and baking process in this article.)
Of all the fruitcakes we’ve sampled, our favorite is the 2-pound version from Assumption Abbey. Containing marinated raisins, pineapple, cherries, lemon peel, orange peel, walnuts—and, of course, rum—they’re available at select local retailers (Smokehouse Market, Straub’s, and The Wine and Cheese Place, among them) and will be available online again in mid-January. We’ve purchased these fruitcakes (or been gifted them) in December and distinctly remember relishing the last morsels in May. (According to its makers, shelf life is two years or up to one year in the fridge after opening.)
While we prefer our cake with a kick, a worthy runner-up is the Regular DeLuxe Fruitcake from family-owned and -operated Collin Street Bakery, which ships more than 1 million pounds of fruitcake worldwide every year. Available in several sizes (including bite size "petites"), Collin Street’s fruitcakes are full of nuts and fruits (including papaya) and alcohol-free.
One we’ve never tried but that has intrigued us comes from College of the Ozarks, a “work college” where cakes, jellies, sauces, spreads, and sampler packs have turned into a marketing tool for the no-tuition school. Peruse the entire line of student-made goods—including its renowned fruitcake—here.
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