Susan Gobbo felt like she reached the top of her field.
In Brazil, her native country, Gobbo led the intensive care unit of a major hospital. She was good at her job and the work made her feel important. But when her husband’s career with Nestlé Purina transferred her family to St. Louis in 2008, Gobbo gave up everything for the best interests of the people she loved. Besides, she believed the move would probably be only temporary—maybe two or three years.
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“That was the initial thought,” Gobbo says. “We would come over here and stay for a few years and go back to Brazil. That was our idea as a family; it would be an adventure.”
Her husband, however, enjoyed his work in St. Louis. Moving here—even temporarily—represented a promotion. The couple’s young daughter also made close friends and enjoyed school. Everyone was happy. Except Gobbo.
After several years of trying to find her calling in St. Louis, Gobbo realized that while she couldn’t work in the health field in the U.S., she could make an impact in a different way. In 2016, she started the STL International Women Spouses/ Expat Group to support foreign-born women who have relocated to the region for their spouse’s or partner’s career. The group, sponsored by the St. Louis Mosaic Project, is designed not only to help members navigate a new life in the U.S., but to connect them with other women who understand the challenges that come with starting over.
“These women, they have bachelor’s degrees, master’s degrees, Ph.D’s, they speak four or five languages and they come here and don’t feel like they’re enough. To me, it’s heartbreaking” Gobbo says. “I was like, ‘No. That’s not right.’”
Whether they know her name or not, scores of companies in St. Louis likely owe Gobbo a debt of gratitude. The cost of bringing a highly skilled foreign employee to St. Louis means that companies should be invested in not only getting that employee, but keeping them here. Studies have shown that approximately 40 percent of overseas assignments fail. One of the main reasons why international workers might leave is not their personal satisfaction, but that of their family.
“When companies bring these international families here, they pay a lot of money in these expatriate packages,” Gobbo says. “They’re not bringing entry-level employees. They are bringing executives, so we’re talking a lot of money. When I talk to companies, I tell them: ‘You have to pay attention to the most important piece of the family.’ The employees are working and the kids are going to school. They adapt so easily. But the spouse gives up their job, their profession, and they have to restart. They need support. I have seen people move back because the spouse said, ‘No. I want my life back.’”
Deborah Moura understands the feeling. Moura, a native of Brazil, was living in Singapore with her husband and daughter when the family learned that Nestlé Purina wanted to transfer them to St. Louis. Gobbo reached out to Moura even before the move to tell her about the spousal support group, and the two met for coffee upon Moura’s arrival. Moura had previously been an established clinical psychologist. Giving up her career was difficult.
“You can get a little bit lost,” Moura says. “As adults, our jobs—our professions—sometimes tell people who you are. You have to try to recreate yourself and try to find new identities.”
The STL International Spouses/ Expat Women Group tries to bridge that gap. The group includes more than 900 women—many with advanced degrees—from 98 countries, ranging in age from 25 to 65 years old. As a whole, the women have partners employed by more than 200 companies in the St. Louis region.
The group provides opportunities for members to find volunteer opportunities, develop new skills, practice English, and make new friends. Outings to cooking classes, local parks, and museums allow women to integrate into the local community while meeting people and sharing about their American experiences. These outings can lead to profound personal discoveries. Moura, for example, so enjoyed a trip to the Saint Louis Art Museum, she is now training to become a docent.
“It’s really important to have this group in St. Louis,” Moura says. “It would be much more difficult to meet other people in the same situation if I was not participating.”
Gobbo organizes activities through the Meetup app. There is no cost to join, and husbands and children are welcome to attend many events. The only requirement is that members are foreign-born.
“I want women to know that we are here,” Gobbo says. “We are here to welcome them. We want to talk to them and to guide them. We understand their struggles.”
