A playground will soon emerge in St. Louis. It will be topped by four silhouette outlines that, when the sun hits just right, will cast the shadows of four angels on the ground—one for each of the children lost in a tragedy that many in the community still remember all too well.
On February 19, 2024, Bernadine “Birdie” Pruessner allegedly set fire to the Ferguson home of her children, Jackson and Millie Spader, and their half-siblings, Ivy and Ellie Pruessner. Their deaths were determined to be premeditated murder-suicide. Every day since, their fathers, Jared Spader and David Pruessner, have navigated unspeakable grief.
Today, they are working to honor their children’s memory with a new playground built by Where Angels Play, a national nonprofit founded by 9/11 first responders to create play spaces in memory of children who have been killed. Slated to open in late 2026 or early 2027, the blue-and-pink structure will include butterflies, personal drawings, and other elements dedicated to the children. The location for the playground will be determined early next year, but Spader confirms that it will be in a local park where the children spent lots of time. Pruessner, who is paraplegic, wants to ensure it’s a place where kids of every ability and their families can play together.
The Angels
Spader and Pruessner will tell you that all four children were happiest outside, where nature was their playground: They loved being in the dirt, exploring, running, and playing among gardens, animals, butterflies, dragonflies, and hummingbirds. Six-year-old Jackson loved blue, just like Ivy; 2-year-old Millie loved pink, just like Ellie.
Jackson, a “deep well of empathy and intuition” Spader swears could have been “a thousand lifetimes old,” was drawn to anything with wheels or wings: sports, aviation, construction equipment. Millie, who was impossibly vibrant for her age, talked early, cracked jokes, and threw herself into whatever her older siblings were doing.
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Ivy and Ellie, 9-year-old twins, were happy, social, and always ready to perform. They were Taylor Swift fans who loved to dance, sing, and stage living-room concerts. They played soccer and tennis. Ellie was “small but mighty,” with a bold, feisty sense of humor and a dream of being a comedian. She was also a protector, quick to stand up for friends and siblings. Ivy, meanwhile, was confident and intuitive, with a curious mind that led her to take toys apart just to see how they worked. She was the family’s budding fashion expert—picking outfits for herself, for Ellie, and critiquing her dad’s ties. She was also infatuated with animals, imagining a future as a veterinarian or designing clothes for dogs.
And their dads were completely, utterly, and unconditionally infatuated with them. “I’m so, so proud to be their dad,” says Spader. “I can never imagine, in this earthly experience, a happier existence than watching them play.”
The Mission
Spader was originally connected to Where Angels Play after meeting Patrick Clancy, whose late children were honored with a playground earlier this year. Spader recalls traveling to Massachusetts this summer to help erect the playground. “At the time, I was still a wreck, but it was such a beautiful tribute,” he says. “There was not a dry eye in sight on that playground. They do this beautiful ceremony. It just felt right.”
To date, the volunteer-led nonprofit has built more than 70 playgrounds. It works to make the process turnkey for bereaved families by overseeing fundraising and planning. The projects can have a profound impact on others in the community, including first responders, neighbors, and more. “We have seen the healing and hopefulness,” says founder and firefighter Bill Lavin. “We haven’t even put a shovel in the ground yet, and I’ve seen the enthusiasm coming from Jared. It’s given him something to look forward to. There’s a catharsis and a healing that goes on for those physically and very personally touched by a tragedy of this magnitude.”
Lavin recalls a parent of Dylan Hockley, a 7-year-old killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting, calling to say he didn’t know where to go on his son’s birthday, so he went to his Where Angels Play playground. “He said when he got to the playground, there were 30-plus children laughing and smiling and having such a good time,” Lavin says. “He said, ‘I felt my son there. I felt him, and I felt that he was responsible for their joy.’ And he simply said, ‘Thank you for giving me a joyful, happy place to go on my son’s birthday.’
“All of the families we’ve worked with…[have a] desire to make sure their children will never be forgotten,” says Lavin. “We feel and see there’s healing and comfort, and that’s enough for us to keep going.”
Moving Forward
Spader’s commitment to “carrying his children’s light forward” started long ago, in the midst of trying to pull himself out of bed each morning and not isolate himself in grief. He started the Jackson and Millie Spader Foundation, contributing to causes that uplift local first responders, such as St. Louis’ The BackStoppers and Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM), a nonprofit that provides education and crisis intervention to first responders after critical incidents.
“They’re very tough people, and they’ll often say, ‘Well, this is what we sign up for,’” Spader says. “I get that, and I respect it. But as we’re trying to figure out how to live ourselves, we asked, Who helps you?”
Spader’s foundation was a welcome surprise for the volunteer-led nonprofit, which typically doesn’t receive private donations. “When Jared reached out, we were kind of shocked because it was such a horrible, tragic thing,” says CISM St. Louis president Jamison White, deputy chief of the Maryland Heights Police Department. “It’s such a blessing that he’s…giving back to the community in honor of these children.”
Spader himself still feels broken and cries most days. But he feels that he’s working toward a meaningful mission. “We’re trying to put good into the world in the names of the kids,” he says. “We kind of need it to survive, honestly—we have to figure out how to manufacture purpose. You just are grasping his straws so hard to find a reason to live when your entire existence is just taken from you and taken from them.”
Pruessner is grateful for those who’ve stood by his side, as well as Where Angels Play. “There’s not a way to prepare a parent for what happened to my girls,” Pruessner says. “I spend every day thinking about how I can honor them… The idea of building a playground is such a wonderful way to honor Ellie and Ivy and Jack and Millie. Who doesn’t love to see children happy and playing on a beautiful playground? I’ve searched for something tangible to honor them and build something I know they would love and enjoy. This feels like that. I know they would love to say, ‘That’s my playground.’”
