Marilyn Pona with two dogs
Dog trainer
By Jeannette Batz Cooperman
Photograph by Peter Newcomb
Why is there such emphasis on socializing dogs? Dogs who always stay home—the canine equivalent of "We always have meatloaf on Tuesday"—won't have the life experiences on which to place judgment calls
What do dogs need from us? Leadership, with calm, consistent direction and appreciative praise. You must send a clear message and mean it with all your heart. Don't let your mind wander; don't mix the message, back down or break consistency. Make it black-and-white. That's very important, because we can't lie to them; they will always be able to read our intent.
Dogs want to be involved with us, and they want to know what is expected of them. They need that sense of belonging--and when they have it, they can relax.
What do you see too often? Dogs who have lost their ability to try. Their self-confidence has been taken away because their person said, "My way or the highway." What I don't see often enough is a well-trained dog with a sense of humor—the confidence that lets them push the perimeter, talk up in class, explore the world.
You founded the Support Dog organization in St. Louis, worked to change Missouri law, started Assistance Dogs for Living to help train service dogs across the country, and received one of President George Bush's Thousand Points of Light awards. What was the climate like when you began? Those were the days before curb cuts and the Americans with Disabilities Act. People had accepted guide dogs but not dogs serving people with physical disabilities. One dog-club official said to me, "How could I profess to love dogs and then put a happy, good-natured dog with a depressing disabled person?" I thought, well, I can either be offended or I can listen.
People with disabilities are not pathetic. They shop at Neiman Marcus, tell jokes and have sex.
Have you ever stolen a dog? Yep—a Doberman who was chained in a back yard and being mistreated. I sawed the chain and brought him home. He was very handsome, and he never did a bad thing ever. But I had three dogs already, and he deserved to be king dog somewhere. My cousin came over one night, and his kids fell in love with this dog and he leaned up against them and that little voice inside me said, "There it is."
Three months later, their little girl was diagnosed with leukemia. I called and said, "I know this is so painful—is having a new dog too much to cope with?" My cousin said, "You've got to be kidding." His wife was spending nights at the hospital. He said, "I put my arms around the dog and go to sleep; that's the only way I can sleep."
You say we overestimate dogs' cognitive ability and underestimate their emotional IQ? People's expectations are usually too high when they think the dog can figure out what he needs to do in a certain situation. I hear a lot of "Now he knows what I want him to do." I tell people all the time, "If the dog really knew what you wanted, he would give it to you." Dogs live in the moment, and a leaf blowing in front of a window can change all the variables.
At the same time, dogs have an amazingly strong ability to read emotion, to sense our moods and reactions, and they are as intrigued by the cross-species friendship as we are. Their own friendships are more the buddy type, still wary and competitive. But with us they relax—their food appears regularly, they can sleep out in the open. They learn affection and tenderness from us, and they mirror it and give it back. They don't have that in their own friendships.
How do you calm an anxious dog? Again, leadership is the key. Work below the dog's stress level to redirect his attention toward you and away from the situation he's reacting to. A good rule to remember is: Stimulate up and calm down. If he's hyper, don't touch him above the ear, they often find pats on the head intrusive. Stroke with a fingertip from the ear to the chest, settling him down, using a soothing praise voice, saying, "Easy good. Easy good." If there's anxiety in your voice, that tells the dog, "Uh-oh, she's afraid too, because that's not her usual voice."
How do you make a dog obey? Not with force and not by shrieking the command again. You don't want them to get in the habit of waiting for the third "Sit," so the dog is saying to himself, "OK, I've got two more before she means it." In situations where the dog is distracted, you need to raise your presence or give a physical signal. It doesn't take volume or force; it takes repetitive, controlled direction you can build from.
A lot of people do too much; they overcorrect. Overreacting to challenging behavior only accelerates the dog's ability to manipulate the situation. In adolescence, often they will start barking to challenge you, because then they can get you overstimulated and usually get out of being controlled. You say, "Oh, all right, let's go." Instead, break eye contact, pull your energy back into your body space and direct them. Say, "No, this is a done deal, and let me show you what a done deal it is." [Gives the hand signal for down.] Go back to the ABCs. Put the dog on lead and go into a known position of control. Now he can stop challenging the "down," because guess what? You've always been able to win on this one.
