Born in southern Illinois, Jeffrey Morris was a math teacher and high school principal for 20 years. A father to two, he’s worked at Oakville, Edwardsville, and Affton high schools. But after years of his own experience with mental illness, which included six suicide attempts and tolls on his personal and professional life, Morris now travels the Midwest to teach suicide prevention to students in grades 6–12, parents, teachers, and counselors. His personal battle is the inspiration behind both this work and his new book, Just Live, which was released in September. In the book, Morris shares his journey and lessons learned along the way, with a goal to offer hope to those with similar struggles. His message? Suicide is preventable, and the most effective way to prevent suicide is to recognize the warning signs and know the steps to get help.
Can you share a bit about your background with mental illness?
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I’m 57, and I’ve probably dealt with depression since I was in junior high school. I was also diagnosed with bipolar II when I was in my early 30s. Bipolar II is a little different than bipolar I: Bipolar I is what most people are familiar with, which is the high highs and the low lows. Well, I don’t get the high highs. Bipolar II is generally just the depression part. I get a little manic, but it’s much more subtle.
How did this impact your professional life?
So I ended up having to leave my job in education because I was a high school principal, and it was just hard to do the job while having an illness like that. And so I started working in schools teaching suicide prevention instead. I worked in an organization called Kids Under Twenty One for a short time. And then I went out on my own and started working in rural areas because I’m from a small town in southern Illinois, and typically rural areas don’t have a lot of resources—even having medical doctors, much less psychiatrist or counselors–so I thought it was important to bring whatever I could to those communities.
What inspired you to write this book?
I wanted to do something, using my experiences with mental illness and education and my research for my dissertation, that could be a resource that people could give others they think might be struggling or might be able to learn from what I’ve been through. For instance, a school counselor might be able to give my book to a parent and say, ‘Here’s some something that might help your kid.’ Or that even a high school kid could read my book and hopefully get something out of it.
What does it mean for you to share this story with people?
I’ve been pretty open with people. I want to be an example of normalizing mental illness. I want to make sure that people understand that there’s no shame in having a mental illness. I hope I can help people understand that it’s not the end of the world to have mental illness—you can manage it.
What’s an example of something readers can expect from the book?
Things that I’ve learned that help me and things that I’ve learned that don’t help. For instance, like 20 years ago, when I would get depressed and I would start coming out of it and feeling better, I would tell myself, ‘I’m never gonna let myself get depressed again.’ Well, I can’t do that. It’s not realistic. Now what I do when I feel bad is to tell myself, ‘Jeff, you’ve been through this before. You know what to do. You know this will pass.’ So, now I don’t look at it at as the end of the world; I focus more on the management of it, rather than trying to not have it happen again.
You mentioned that you were starting suffering from depression when you were quite young, but it took until your 30s to be diagnosed with bipolar II. What was that journey like, getting from point A to point B?
From the time I was in junior high until I was early 30s, I didn’t even know I had anything wrong with me. I mean, I knew something was off. But I just thought, this is the way I am. And then sometime around 2000, I was like, you know what, feeling like you want to kill yourself is not normal. Something is wrong. I was working in a school at that time, and we had an insurance card and on the back of it, it had a number you could call for employee assistance. I called that number and ended up going to see a counselor. But even then, after reaching out for that help, over the next 10 years, I really struggled. My mental health was getting worse and worse. I attempted suicide six times between 1997 and 2010. I ended up getting divorced, and I think the big reason for my divorce was my mental health. And I don’t blame my ex-wife at all; she stood by me longer than she should have. I don’t look back on it with any regrets because that’s really a waste of time. It’s just all kind of what got me to this point.
What is your hope for this book?
My hope with sharing my story is just that people who have what I have or something similar can get help sooner. If I were a teenager now, I think it would’ve been much more likely to get help sooner and been on medication or seen a counselor because in the ’80s, you know, I didn’t even know what depression was. I hope teens today, with the resources we have today, have a different story.
What are you most proud of in the book?
One of the things I tried to do was to get people to really be active in their reading. I ask people at the end of every chapter to do some journaling. I talk about how stress is normal, and you have to learn how to deal with it, rather than try to get rid of all the stressors in your life because it’s just not possible to do that. I ask people to list out their stressors, how they deal with those things, and if the ways they’re dealing with it are positive. I had a lot of help writing this book, and friend of mine who has dealt with some mental health issues herself recommended I put that in. I thought it ended up being one of the best parts of the book.
What is the best thing you think that people can do to help their friends or family who are battling something like this?
Be a good listener. Part of the reason I wrote the book was because people were always coming to me and saying, ‘Jeff, I just don’t know what to say.’ And I tell them, ‘It’s really not what you say; it’s that you’re willing to let them talk.’ The example I give is, think about a time when you’ve been down, things are going bad, and you just don’t feel good. But then you were able to talk to somebody about how you were feeling—think about how much better you felt even though you hadn’t really done anything other than talk about it. A lot of times, people just need someone to talk to. That’s not to say it solves their problem or it ends there. But it buys time. And the second thing is, if you suspect somebody is suicidal, ask them. My experience is that if you know somebody well enough to think that they’re struggling and that they might be depressed or suicidal, they probably are. And even if they say they don’t want to talk about it, they probably do. So just let them know you’re there for them and that you can listen… Suicide is not about wanting to die. It is about wanting to end pain and just not knowing what else to do.
What do you wish people understood at all or better about mental illness?
I think one of the misconceptions about mental illness now is that there is something stigma attached to it. I think 15, 20 years ago, that was the case, but I think now, people understand that it’s a real illness and that it’s something to be taken seriously. I find there are two kinds of people I meet: people who have a mental health illness themselves, or people who know somebody close to them that has one. The one thing that I want people to know is that suicide is preventable. Our mental health system, although it is far from perfect, is better than what people think it is. A vast majority of people who die from suicide are not receiving mental health care or they aren’t following their doctors’ orders. When people are actually listening to their doctor, communicating with their doctor, seeing their counselor, taking their medication, doing what they’re supposed to do, the chances of suicide are reduced immensely. Preventing suicide is simple—it’s just not easy.
How can people purchase Just Live?
It’s currently available at Barnes & Noble. But anybody in the St. Louis area can contact me directly—especially if they’re interested in buying in bulk. The more books they buy, the better price I’ll give them. I’m not looking to make tons of money off this book; I’m looking to help people. And I feel like the more books I can get out to people, the more I can help ’em.
