My college-age son called his 16-year-old sister last night. As she spoke with him, I watched her visibly relax. It made me realize that this dynamic has been happening almost her entire life. He is two years nine months older than her, and they are very different people. But as different as they are, I am beginning to realize that they have a unique relationship all their own.
They are as different as two people can be, and yet, slowly as they get older, I am seeing similarities beyond anything I imagined. They are both compassionate, loyal, kind, and goofy. They are good friends and have exceptional friends. They are respectful to adults and have an adventurous spirit. They look at the world and see possibilities.
Discover fun things to do with the family
Subscribe to the St. Louis Family newsletter for family-friendly things to do and news for local parents, sent every Monday.
After I had Joe, I knew without a doubt that I wanted him to have a sibling. There was no way I wanted him to be alone in the world to deal with me—I wanted him to have someone to complain and laugh with. I wanted him to share his childhood as only a sibling can.
When I got pregnant with Jessie and we decided to tell Joe, who was three years old at the time, he immediately said it was a sister and her name would be, “Milk Water.” He never once changed his mind.
When Joe was born, I researched how to introduce a newborn to a family dog. The advice was to bring home a blanket first and let the dog smell it. Then, bring the baby home and put him on the ground so that the dog and baby could meet. And Starr, our 80-pound German Shepherd, immediately adopted Joe as part of her pack. For his part, Joe thought Starr was the best thing ever. He pulled up on her, got in her face, and blessed her with his first spoken word, “Starr”.
Before Jessie was born, I investigated how to introduce a newborn to an older sibling. When Jessie was born, Joe came to the hospital to meet her. He took one look at her and asked, “Who’s her mom?”
“I am,” I replied.
“Who’s her dad?”
“Daddy is.”
“Where is she going to live?” he asked.
Once Jessie was home, Joe realized that he had a captive audience. For the better part of her life, Joe has utilized Jessie as a prop in his schemes and plans. She gladly complied. He taught her to hit a T-ball when she was two, catch a baseball when she was four, and skied with her when she was six. He was also the best driving instructor in the house, telling her, “I will only raise my voice if our lives are in danger.”
Anything Joe could do, Jessie could do, too.
They share camp friends and a car. They went to the same high school for one year, and besides frantic calls to hurry up every morning, I believe this was a good time for them. And though it hasn’t all been smooth sailing, I want to believe that they can depend on one another in good times and bad.
Today, they text often. They also call one another and talk about things that I have no idea about. They laugh together and plan together. They have one another when I get crazy. They are two of a kind, and I am grateful every day that they both blessed me with their presence.
