St. Louis kids have two main objectives every October 31: find which houses are handing out full-size candy bars, and make the neighbors laugh. Although we can’t help with the former task, we have compiled a list of family-friendly jokes that can assist you and your children with the latter. These knee-slappers are both easy to remember and fun to say.
- “What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trombone.”
- “What do you call a jungle cat that doesn’t tell the truth? A lion.”
- “Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks.”
- “What’s big, scary and has three wheels? A monster riding a tricycle.”
- “What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.”
- “Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field.”
- “What do birds give away on Halloween? Tweets.”
- “What does a ghost panda eat? Bam-BOO.”
- “Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.”
- “What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.”
- “What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs.”
- “Why are spiders great web developers? They’re always finding bugs.”
- “What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!”
- “How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.”
- “What do you call two witches living in the same haunted house? Broommates.”
- “Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.”
- “Why did the cookie visit the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy.”
- “How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? A pumpkin patch.”
- “What did the little corn say to the mama corn? Where is pop corn?”
- “What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock.”
- “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”
- “What is a pirate’s favorite school subject? Arrrrrrrrrrt.”
- “What does a lawyer wear to work? A law suit.”
- “What does a house wear to a party? Address.”
- “Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they’d crack each other up.”
- “Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.”
- “Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers.”
- “What’s a witch’s favorite school subject? Spelling.”
- “Why do ghosts pick their noses? To get the boo-gers.”
- “Why did the vampire read the newspaper? Because it had great circulation.”
- “Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin!”
