Ask George: Are kids in restaurants becoming more unruly, or am I just picking the wrong restaurants?

Ask George: Are kids in restaurants becoming more unruly, or am I just picking the wrong restaurants? Tom S., St. Louis

I addressed this same issue in an Ask George two years ago. In it, I stated that unruly kids were the exception rather than the norm, but regardless, suggested multiple (and empirical) ways a to remedy such an occurrence.

That said, the situation does appear to be getting worse.

It could be a symptom of too many restaurants having play areas (so therefore all restaurants are play areas) or more likely, the preponderance of increasingly poor behavior being the result of increasingly poor parenting. I believe that fewer and fewer parents were taught proper public behavior as children (proper table manners, respecting others, using their “church” voices, etc.), so their children know no different.

Joy Grdnic, owner of The Fountain on Locust, a restaurant and self-described adult ice cream parlor feels the problem is increasing. The comments in an article published in Tuesday’s Huffington Post largely corroborate Grdnic’s observations.

Grdnic told Relish she was concerned about the comfort of her adult guests when young parents ignore their screaming 2-year-olds. After one afternoon of “six tables with crying toddlers,” she frustratingly noted that “while there are some decent, polite families, they are becoming outnumbered by the ones who don’t even think to take the child outside.” The problem has forced Grdnic to explore different ways to avert such situations, including the possibility of eliminating children’s menus: on the day in question, she said, two large tables got up and left because of all the commotion.

Cyrano’s Cafe, a restaurant and dessert house now in its third location, has been around for 40-plus years. Owner Charlie Downs has been involved for 20 of those years, so we asked his opinion on declining behavior patterns.

“There are more diners today which means more kids dining out, and therefore a greater number of bad kids,” he said, “and they’re the ones everybody is concerned about.” He added, “In the back of our minds restaurant managers hope and pray the child will suddenly be quiet or be consoled,” and that no manager looks forward to a parent/child confrontation, largely because it’s a no-win: “Parents are insulted if you say anything to them,” he said, “but if by chance the child gets spilled on or injured, you find yourself explaining any inaction to someone’s attorney.”   

Personally, I have not observed any such degradation in childrens’ restaurant behavior, but I have noticed that parents of the well-behaved kids are garnering more and more kudos from restaurants just because their kids are not acting up, which is disturbing.  

Gerard Craft, owner of the always-packed Pastaria, has said on many occasions that his restaurant is “family-friendly by design” and yesterday reported that “knock on wood, we haven’t had any problem with kids,” attributing his success to stimuli that keep his guests busy–“crayons and a menu that doubles as a coloring book; the open, pasta-making room; a gelato case where kids get free tastes; and the open pizza oven.” Having really good food–and food that kids like–doesn’t hurt.

The second part of the original question bears a comment as well. At kid-centric restaurants–like ice cream parlors and inexpensive chain restaurants–one must expect kids and therefore occasional less-than-perfect behavior. Conversely, it’s fair to say that as the style of a restaurant ratchets up, tolerance for ill-behaved children decreases as price points increase.   

So what to do should you encounter unruly kids in a restaurant? If you’re a customer and upset enough, get up and leave, noting your displeasure to the owner or manager, as it just may cause a change in policy. If you’re an owner/manager, consider posting a sign that reads something like “For the safety of customers and staff, we request that all children must remain in their seats, unless escorted,” which addresses the problem but will not be construed as a buzz kill.