Zero to 100: Daniel and Ryan met almost seven years ago when a mutual friend introduced them while out at Just John Club, an LGBT+ nightclub in St. Louis. They talked for over an hour and exchanged numbers. But Daniel accidentally mistyped one number. Thankfully, the mutual friend helped make sure the two texted. They were both undergraduates then, so time was sparse. They didn’t get to hang out again until a few months after meeting when they watched Meet Me in St. Louis together. On their second date, Daniel joined Ryan’s family for Easter.
“We went from zero to 100 real fast,” Daniel says, laughing.
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From then they were nearly inseparable and often went out for dinner, hiked, and explored the Missouri Botanical Garden and Tower Grove Park. Ryan was living in Florissant at the time, so Daniel acted as a tour guide for St. Louis.
They moved in together after five months of dating, despite many raised eyebrows from friends. But even then, both men say they knew they had found their partner.
The Proposal: Although Daniel and Ryan started talking informally about marriage early on, they agreed to wait until Daniel finished graduate school. In May 2019, the couple road-tripped to the Pacific Northwest to celebrate Daniel’s graduation. Daniel assumed Ryan would ask on the trip, but the second to last day of the trip arrived and still no ring.
“I kept thinking, ‘Oh no, he’s waiting for the perfect moment,’” Daniel says.
The moment came that morning. Daniel says he groggily peered over his coffee cup to see Ryan on one knee holding out the ring. They were at a secluded, tranquil cove on Bowen Island in Vancouver.
“I wanted it to be somewhere private where we could process it together,” Ryan says. “Because we didn’t have a reception in the woods, we were able to enjoy the moment together.”
The Yin to My Yang The couple chose a ceremony location that was both a classically beautiful backdrop and also a meaningful spot in their relationship—Tower Grove Park, at the old playground pavilion area. They decorated with candles, greenery, and an archway they built together using locally reclaimed wood. This was almost the ceremony they had been planning for a year, but COVID-19 pushed the date back from May 1, which would have been their six-year anniversary of dating, to the end of July.
The couple also had to keep the ceremony more intimate than originally planned. Just 25 attendees were there to watch the couple, mostly family, some friends, all in masks. “[Ryan and I] and our officiate took our masks off for the ceremony, but that was it,” Daniel says. “Since we were outside it was easy to keep people spaced out.”
Each groom wrote his own vows, and without planning it, the vows ended up being nearly identical. Both talked about how well their different personalities balance each other and how they consider the other their best friend. They also shared their personal experiences with growing up as gay men and worrying they wouldn’t find a partner, or not being able to imagine what it would be like when they did. “We just felt so fortunate to be getting married after marriage equality,” Daniel says. “We never had to fight for that right.”
Change of Plans: Although Daniel and Ryan couldn’t have their planned reception at Wild Carrot, the couple and their guests celebrated at the park with Champagne and cake. Close friends gave toasts, including the one who introduced them all those years before. They’d planned to honeymoon at St. Croix in the Caribbean, and they’re still hoping to make the trip after there is a COVID-19 vaccine. In the meantime, though, they’re working around the house and in the garden, where they planted a new Japanese maple to commemorate their special wedding day.
The Details:
Photographer: Rebecca Haas of George Street Photography
Cake: La Patisserie Choquette
Tuxes: Express
Flowers: Flowers & Weeds
Decorations: Kate Mullins Design
Officiant: Terri Williams of Moonstone Meaningful Ceremonies
