What former St. Louisans miss about St. Louis

It was 2015 when Tom Carlson left St. Louis. It made sense to be in Phoenix for work—his longtime employer, the parent company of the Riverfront Times, had shed the St. Louis-based publication and promoted him to be design director for its other newspapers. His son had recently graduated high school; why not give Arizona a try? “I hadn’t lived anywhere but St. Louis and Springfield, Missouri, for college,” he recalls. “So it was like, Let’s have an adventure.”

Carlson found much to like about his new home in the Phoenix suburb of Tempe. “It was almost like a tropical vacation,” he says. “Because we had palm trees and saguaros in our yard and a swimming pool and a lighted path through the neighborhood that was almost like a lighted path through a resort.” 

Yet the Carlsons both found themselves thinking of home: She missed her friends in the theater scene; he missed St. Louis’ music scene, and found himself frustrated by the bad Italian food in Phoenix. “There’s so many places to eat, and so many of them are mediocre,” he says, laughing. “I think St. Louis is a better restaurant town.” And then they started getting calls from investors, offering double what they’d paid for their home in Tempe—a proposition too tempting not to consider. Last year, the couple moved back to St. Louis.

Not everyone who leaves St. Louis returns (although, in full disclosure, I also did: After living here in 2010 and moving away in 2011, I came back in 2015 and have never looked back). But even those who leave often find themselves thinking fondly about what they missed. 

I asked some friends who’ve moved on for their thoughts on what they find themselves missing about St. Louis—-and their answers proved as interesting as Tom Carlson’s. Here’s what they had to say:

Jessica, now lives in New York City: Affordable rent! I miss that so much. I miss Forest Park so much too. 

Erin, now lives near Grand Rapids: I miss the deep cultural character of each St. Louis neighborhood that seemed to manage to hold onto its historical identity—the deep Italian roots of the Hill and the Irish roots of Dogtown. I miss the ability to drive a mile or two and find myself within an entirely different community with its own (literal) flavors and music. I miss the year-round energy of Forest Park and the ability to spend an entire day getting lost in the zoo, the museum, or random festivals that the park hosts because of its central-to-all things St. Louis. Most of all, I miss the sports culture. A town so deeply baseball that Opening Day is a local holiday.  

Tom, now lives in Miami: Cardinals games on every radio, TV. The architectural amazingness. 

Forest Park. The abundance and endurance of cultural institutions centered on the arts.

Nobu. The Mississippi. St. Louis will never not feel like home to me

Stessie, now lives in Columbia: I miss that St. Louis offers all the amenities of a big city with great restaurants, cultural attractions, sports, and the arts, yet it never feels overwhelming or overly touristy. It is approachable, affordable, and has a homey feel that makes it easy to love. There are hidden gems everywhere and something for everyone if you take the time to look. It truly is a city full of creativity, community, and character when you take the time to explore it. As an aside, we still dream about Blues City Deli in Benton Park. We haven’t found a po’ boy we enjoy more.  

Keyra, now lives in New Zealand: The Missouri Botanical Garden and all the festivals they threw. The FREE zoo and the special events they put on. The parks, especially Forest Park and Tower Grove. The farmers markets, especially Tower Grove on Tuesdays. 

The parades! Especially Mardi Gras. The Festival of Nations and Pride at Tower Grove Park.

The cool distinguished neighborhoods of STL and how they had a theme. The architecture of the homes in each neighborhood. The leaves in fall at Lafayette Square and seeing all the wedding crowds taking photos. Sometimes you’d see six brides at a time. My daughter Korra would say, “There are so many princesses here!” 

Trick or Treating options, Johnny Brock’s Dungeon options, The City Foundry food options.

Paul, now lives in Los Angeles: The main thing I miss about St. Louis is the free museums/ parks/gardens/and zoo! I’m not sure what the process was of making all of these public spaces free. Did St. Louis dip its toes in socialist practices? Was the French influence more than just architecture and street names but also a focus on art/culture/history? Did Mayor Schoemehl do all of this and more? In any case, “all of the museums are free” has a nice ring to it! Some of the most notable in my book are Laumeier Park, the Saint Louis Art Museum, the St. Louis Science Center, and the Saint Louis Zoo.

Evan, now lives in Paris: I miss the close-knit community that existed on Cherokee Street first and foremost — from the musicians to the local shop owners to the painters to the weirdos to the restaurateurs to CJ, the kid who went everywhere and anywhere he wanted on the street, taken care of by the whole community as he learned how to be productive and valuable. The strong Hispanic business community and cuisine, the houses cheap enough for bartenders to be able to afford, the business district composed of and actually serving its constituents—Cherokee was and is a place I really respect and will always love. My partner and I were able to take over a giant space and turn it into an art- and music-making hub, we watched friends pursue their own wild dreams in apartments and storefronts all up and down the street, and it was truly marvelous. Whatever else happens in my life (and I have high hopes!), I’ll probably never live in a space or a community so generous and so wild again.

I miss sharing a city with City Museum. That place was honestly a big part of why we moved to St. Louis: it told us how possible it was to pursue crazy dreams to their fullest extent. It’s also just a fantastic place to bring people of any age—relatives, touring bands, visiting professors, anyone at all—and watch them get their minds blown.

I miss the way in which the whole city felt comprehensible and reachable. It felt like it was possible to basically know everyone in your neighborhood, and also in whatever scene or profession most interested you. I found St. Louis to be an extremely approachable city, where there was only ever one or maybe two degrees of separation between me and whomever I wanted to meet. In the music scene, theater scene, journalism, political establishment, political activist world, art world … if there was something or someone I wanted to access, it felt like there was always a way forward. I’m sure that’s not everyone’s experience, but coming from Seattle and Chicago beforehand, and New York after, I have to say that accessibility is hard to overstate, and it opened up possibilities that would not have been possible elsewhere. Our band did a laser show at the planetarium, for instance, composed by the head laserist, basically because we asked and they said, “Sure, why not?” We couldn’t do that in any of those other cities.