Illustrations by Donough O’Malley
“Should students be praised for their achievements or their effort?” That question reflects a dialogue that educators are having about how to prepare students for success in life. We’ve come to realize that while doing well in school counts, it’s also important to have strong “noncognitive” skills. These include working well with others, being an engaged and caring person, and possessing grit. Grit is having tenacity, hanging in there, and being resilient. Grit is not backing away from a problem because it’s difficult and not giving up until you finish the job.
When you consider who is successful—regardless of how you define success—it’s probably their grit that got them there. Their success didn’t come easily; it happened because they learned from their mistakes, turned them into “good failures,” and didn’t give up. Grit was written about in Paul Tough’s book How Children Succeed, and associate professor Angela Duckworth was just named a MacArthur Fellow for her research on grit.
Educators need to develop grit in children, and there is a role for parents, too. At home and in school, children need to know that good things don’t often come easily and that success comes from not giving up. Children need to learn that there is merit in trying and trying again, even if they aren’t immediately successful.
Parents should talk about grit and let their children know that they value both the effort and the result. Instead of complimenting Janice for being a good soccer player, she should be praised for her effort and for being a good teammate. Lawrence should be told how much we value the many drafts he prepared in writing his report and that he kept working to make it better. Our children should know that important goals aren’t achieved without effort and failure along the way. That’s part of the learning process.
Children should also step out of their comfort zones and take risks in learning. Too often, kids want to back away at the first failure or when things become hard. We need to talk about their grit, so they understand that tenacity is needed to succeed and that they will gain from persevering. Grit needs to be part of their vocabulary.
We need to practice what we preach and let our children know how we respond even when things don’t come easily. Too often, we don’t share our frustration or how it took us seven tries to finally get it right. We do our children a disservice if they don’t see us displaying the grit that they need to develop. Our children need to appreciate our grit and how we handle frustration. Modeling a behavior is always more effective than just talking about it.
Let’s think about good grit, too. We want our children to use grit in achieving positive ends and making the world a better place. This means that we must teach character along with grit.
Thomas Hoerr, who received his Ph.D. from Washington University, is head of New City School in the Central West End. A former public-school principal and teacher, he’s the author of Fostering Grit.
