Most people long to retire.
They look forward to sleeping in or getting up early for a round a golf. Retirement allows us to spend our time and energy doing the things we really want to do. However, when you’re married and your routine has been relatively the same for 30-plus years, life can be very different when one or both people decide to retire.
Retirement is a transition period for couples, and the best way through it is to communicate. Talking about what you want your days to look like is key. Recently, I worked with a couple in their 60s. She had been a homemaker and he was an accountant that logged 60-hour work weeks. They were used to spending approximately two hours a day together. While they looked forward to retirement as a time to travel, about a year into it they traveled less and spent more time at home. She was used to having quite a lot of alone time and was feeling smothered by the extended couple time. He played golf but didn’t want to be on the course 60 hours a week! I helped them understand that even though this is a wonderful time in their lives, it is still a time of change and transition. They needed time to grow into a new way of life. Once they talked about their needs, they were able to carve out time alone and together.
After retirement, time together tends to increase while time spent alone decreases. It’s really important to sit down before or after a planned retirement happens and discuss what your new days and weeks are going to look like. Doing so will help lessen any bumps down the road.
