With Thanksgiving just a couple of days away, we’re reminded of the importance of family traditions. In an ever-changing world, they offer comfort and consistency, and help families pass down values from one generation to the next.
But just as children grow and family dynamics change, traditions may need to be re-evaluated from time to time. Sometimes customs that blended seamlessly into the lives of our grandparents or parents no longer work as well for our own way of living. A friend of mine and her husband have traveled out of town every year to visit her mother on Christmas Day. Her mom loves having the family together for the holiday, but this year her own children want to be home on Christmas morning. They don’t want to be rushed getting to grandma’s house four hours away, and my friend was nervous to tell her mother they wouldn’t be there this year until the day after Christmas.
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This family tradition wasn’t working for her family. With her children growing up fast, she’d like to start her family’s own Christmas traditions. Recently, she told her mother that they wouldn’t be there until the day after Christmas this year. Thankfully, her mother took the news well.
Traditions need to work for families. If you find yourself carrying out a tradition that you’re not looking forward to, you may consider reevaluating it. Traditions should be pleasant and meaningful for everyone involved.
Christianne Judy is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker specializing in couples therapy. She maintains a private practice in O’Fallon, IL with nine other practitioners at Counseling Associates of Southern Illinois. Judy is a Certified Gottman Therapist and a graduate of the Washington University George Warren Brown School of Social Work.
