YAY
Look: What would Hostess Cupcakes be like without their nutritious vanilla crème centers? Cakes, that’s what. And that’s all. Cakes are inarguably fine. But that stuffed centre elevates, enobles, escalates Hostess Cupcakes into another realm. A burger without stuffing is just lovely, grand even. That said, shoving cheese inside meat is rarely a bad idea. With burgers, it seems almost inspired. And here’s the best part: A cheese-stuffed burger adds a philosophical exercise to a meal. You meditate on the packed protein before you. You know that inside lurks a molten lake of bubbling dairy product. How long do you wait for it to cool before taking a bite? Watch to see how long a fellow waits—or doesn’t—and you will know much about him as a person. There aren’t a lot of foods about which as much could be said. —D.L.
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NAY
The decision between risking one’s health by diving into the molten burger or waiting until the cheese has cooled along with the now-cold meat is no choice at all. Once, a well-intentioned waitress advised me to cut my stuffed burger in half to avoid injury, and of course the cheese ran out all over my plate, creating a sloppy mess and making it impossible to eat without the use of a fork and knife, which I consider nothing short of sacrilege. As for your cake analogy, I find it somewhat telling that you hold up the rubbery, oversweet hunk of garbage that is a Hostess Cupcake as something burgers should aspire to emulate. I’ll take a rich chocolate cake from La Patisserie Chouquette any day. The icing serves just fine on top, thank you very much. —W.P.
