I’ve seen it all in my two decades in the restaurant industry: absurd dietary restrictions, unreasonable requests… Victoria Beckham maintains a list of foods that she can’t (or won’t) eat. Other celebs have arrived for dinner “overserved.” I’ve concluded that proper dining etiquette died along with Emily Post. But for those who still aspire to dine—and drink—civilly, here are some pointers to live by.
Curb the complaints. People often grumble about restaurants’ wine prices when comparing them to retail prices. A typical markup is anywhere from two to three times the wholesale price. Keep in mind, though, that a restaurant is a business—you shouldn’t fault the owners for trying to make money on the deal. The exquisite atmosphere
is complimentary.
Bring a bottle, buy a bottle. If you bring wine, keep it to a 1-to-1 ratio—one carried-in bottle for every bottle purchased at the establishment. Few things infuriate service staff more than a patron who carries in tons of wine. In St. Louis, Elaia waives the $30 corkage fee for each bottle purchased from its list. And just how does the restaurant calculate said price? “A corkage should represent the revenue lost,” says beverage director Andrey Ivanov, “and equal the average of two glasses of wine on the wine list, as that’s the typical consumption of a diner.”
Beer is just fine. Some say it’s rude or uncouth to drink beer in a fine-dining environment. Nothing could be further from the truth. When paired correctly, beer can be just as complementary to a meal as vino. “Wine is no longer the only fine beverage that has found its rightful place at the dinner table,” says Ashley Routson, a.k.a. The Beer Wench. “The introduction and popularity of the gastropub concept has revolutionized the way people experience and perceive craft beer and food.”
Tip well. Leaving 15 percent should be the bare minimum when it comes to tipping, reserved only for cases of extremely poor service. If you had a great dining experience, anything less than 20 percent is insulting. (If you think your server won’t remember, you’re sorely mistaken. Even if you don’t get the same person the next time, servers do talk to each other and often put notes into the computer.)
Also, remember that in some cases, gratuity goes to more than just your server. At Elaia, the staff pools tips and divides the total among those working. This is a common occurrence, which typically yields the best service and eliminates the phrase “that’s not my table”—a phrase no server should use about your table if you follow the aforementioned advice.
A former sommelier at The French Laundry, Hoel serves as a senior wine advisor for Soutirage, a Napa Valley wine merchant and advisory firm.
