Ask George: How long should you wait for initial service in a restaurant and how best to advise management if dissatisfied? Kevin R, St. Louis
I don't like answering every Ask George with "it depends," but it applies here, too.
If I enter a restaurant famished, the several minutes I might have to wait to get noticed might seem like an eternity; if not hungry or with friends, that time passes in an instant. Most restaurant training manuals say that a guest is to be acknowledged by a server "immediately, if possible," even if no service can be rendered at the time. Regardless, an order for beverages should be taken within five minutes. After ten, I think the average person attempts to make eye contact...with someone.
If service is slow from the outset, take a visual survey. If you see more necks craning than people eating, you might want to bail before there's any commitment. The astute diner can determine when a restaurant is in the weeds. At that point, you have to weigh the opportunity cost of whether to stay or to go. If it's the former, call the manager over and register your concern. At that point, service usually dramatically improves.
If you've reached the wine/cocktails stage and sense poor pacing, that dinner could be an all night affair, either ask for the manager or implement an exit strategy: ask to pay for the drinks and leave, or less confrontational, leave adequate cash on the table and move on.
There are options when problems with food occur as well. My rule of thumb is that if the grievance is minor and can be corrected quickly (cold soup, warm salad), so be it. If the offense is more serious and time-consuming, like an overcooked steak, weigh what I call "the hassle factor." Determine the worth of calling attention to the problem (shifting the table's attention to a discussion about your food and away from otherwise pleasant table conversation), or simply temporarily letting it go, in the interest of not breaking up the party.
I say temporarily because many restaurant managers get miffed when they hear of dissatisfaction after the fact, preferring to rectify the problem at the time it occurred, not realizing that cooking a new steak for Mr. Jones is a time suck and a downer for the entire table. My rule here is that, especially when dining in a group, unless the offense is so grievous it must be rectified immediately and/or time is not an issue, let it go until the next day, at which point you notify the restaurant.
As a restaurant manager and a customer, I feel addressing the issue the day after--and by telephone--is the best policy. Using email or social media for such purposes just opens the door for misinterpretation. Plus, sleep--and sobriety--bring clarity.
The next day, the manager will usually overcompensate (which he would have done the night before anyway) and the customer can gauge the manager's sincerity and demeanor. Some managers are warm and genuine--people whose restaurants you'd willingly patronize again--while others are defensive and arrogant and either won't or don't care to rectify the problem, and which point you calmly hang up the phone and decide to never return.
