Laura Ann Miller
Marianne and Jeff Walden eloped on the steps of the Saint-Louis Art Museum on their original wedding date.
It’s not an ideal time to plan anything, let alone a wedding. Just ask the professionals guiding St. Louis couples to their big days, then scrapping them, rethinking, and weighing the ethics of even having weddings at all.
“The business transformed overnight,” recalls area wedding planner Allyssa Stevenson, who averages more than 30 weddings a year with her business. “I did two weddings on March 13, one on the 14th, and then the next day we weren’t leaving our houses.” The Rebel Wedding Planner, Victoria Burrows, originally had 15 weddings on her 2020 books. She ended up doing just six. “It’s going to be several years of playing catch-up,” she says. Samantha Carter, who owns The Carter Experience, had to think creatively for the weddings she knew she couldn’t safely attend. She began sending custom boxes of decorations for her clients to install themselves.
The last year has taken a financial toll on the wedding industry. Along the way, these planners are reminding couples how to navigate the unprecedented.
Sometimes postponing is the best option: Stevenson is having couples select their three highest priorities for the wedding. If the bride and groom had these three things but the rest of the day went awry, they could still call it a success. If a wedding in early 2021 can’t offer one of those things, it’s better to wait.
Burrows has had couples postpone the entire event until later this year and some who eloped on the originally scheduled day. Others forged ahead with whatever adjustments were needed, such as smaller guest lists and social distancing. One couple canceled outright. “That’s really the key for this whole COVID-19 thing: There’s absolutely no one-size-fits-all solution,” Burrows says. “It really comes down to what makes the most sense for the individual couple and their individual circumstances.”
Be understanding when rescheduling or canceling vendors: “For me personally, my overhead costs are low,” Stevenson says, “but a florist who’s already ordered your flowers is now out that money, and they’ll have to pay to order them again on the rescheduled date. Each section of the industry is vastly different, so you have to understand that not everyone can give a full refund.”
Burrows also advises couples to keep in mind that they are not the only ones trying to cancel and reschedule. And because the products and services are centered on a specific date, the date on which the service is supposed to be provided is part of the package. When a couple moves a wedding date, the vendor is not getting the business it should have gotten on that date, and it’s also prevented from booking a new business on the new date. Many vendors are small businesses trying to keep their businesses afloat, pay their mortgages, and put food on the table.
If you haven’t started planning, begin now or accept a 2022 date: Even in a normal year, most of the popular 2021 dates, say, summer and fall, would already be almost booked. Now the industry is also accommodating weddings postponed from 2020.
“[2021] will be interesting,” Stevenson says. “I think we’ll see a lot more Monday and Thursday weddings.”
You can still enjoy your big day: Mask up, spread out, and narrow down your guest list. Or go ahead and wait until you can have everything you’ve dreamed of. But, these planners say, if you’re having your wedding during the pandemic, don’t feel like you can’t rejoice in you and your partner’s love.
Sad that loved ones won’t be able to make it? Broadcast part of your ceremony or Zoom with family members during the reception. Take a note from drive-by birthday parties and have your own guest list caravan wish you off on your honeymoon…uh, staycation.
“Don’t waste your time lamenting about ‘Oh, we were supposed to have done this,’” Burrows says. “You’re still getting married. Don’t lose sight of why you’re doing all this in the first place.”
