Photo by Ricky Alvarez
Jordan Ward returns to St. Louis on Oct. 28.
Jordan Ward is learning not to be ashamed of his emotions. His recent project, Remain Calm, honors that journey. The five-track EP, which dropped Oct. 8, finds the singer/dancer/rapper giving himself permission to embrace all of his feelings. It’s a deeply personal project for him.
“Remain calm, those words, started as an affirmation for myself, because I do deal with anxiety,” Ward says. “I feel like a lot of people do on some level. I also deal with anger issues, but not so much anymore. As a kid, it was more of a challenge, but that just manifests in me being really emotional, being reactive, so I feel like “Remain Calm” just started as a mantra for me....I actually have it tattooed on my arm. It says, ‘Remain calm, patience and persistence,’ and that became the project title like three years ago. I kind of wanted to do a meditative project. I’m not sure if it ended up becoming that.”
It did. Each song on Remain Calm sounds like it can be a lead single for a different album while simultaneously blending perfectly on the EP. “Lil Baby Crush,” is a fun, upbeat track on which Ward heavily dissects him liking someone (“I’m getting way too old to crush,” he laments). Elsewhere, “Couscous,” a soothing stream-of-consciousness single with a contagious melody, features Ward singing about all of his anxieties that keep him up at night. On “Steph,” he offers a delightful yet cathartic rap track, on which he expresses his indifference about what anyone else thinks.
On “Remain Calm,” the message is clear: Ward is not apologizing for how he feels. He’ll continue to share that message during his performance at the Blueberry Hill Duck Room on Oct. 28 at 8 p.m.
“I’m kind of just allowing myself to indulge in whatever I’m feeling,” Ward says. ‘On ‘Standards’ I’m looking at people around me and being like, damn, I don’t really need to fuck with any of these people. And then on ‘Thrive,’ I’m like, wow I’m judging them so much and then I’m judging myself, when really we’re all just doing the best that we can. We’re all actually dealing with the same thing. I have songs like on ‘Lil Baby Crush,’ where I’m actually contemplating whether I even want to say something to this girl, but then I have a song like ‘Steph,’ where I’m saying these girls literally ran a train on me. ‘Couscous’ is just like a middle point. It’s kind of in the middle of the EP that encompasses everything. It encompasses the heavier emotions, the happy memories and also the wildness and the aggression that I need to let out.”
Contemplating the need to meet others’ expectations while not knowing how to process various emotions is a battle that’s common for those in their twenties. It’s an age range when people are often expected to have their life in order. Ward, 26, remembers having a mental breakdown while recording “Couscous” because “I was so in my head at that point in life.” He simply didn’t feel good enough. After returning to the studio and receiving positive energy from those who helped make the song, “Couscous” became Ward’s favorite on the EP.
Thursday will be Ward’s first show in his hometown in more than three years. The South City-bred artist, who now lives in Los Angeles, credits his upbringing in St. Louis for his expansive appreciation for music. He remembers writing raps at a local YMCA, going with his mom to choir rehearsal at church, becoming passionate about dance after performing at The Muny as a child, and growing up during the mixtape era.
“I grew up around my mom in the music ministry, and maybe I’m biased, but I feel like St. Louis has an especially strong gospel music, church community,” Ward says. “Every Sunday, there was something going on in the gospel community, and I was a part of that, so that did impact my music. Also my theater upbringing in St. Louis, that was a big part of it. Also, it’s just like what I grew up around. I grew up in the era when kids literally brought mixtapes to school or CDs. I was buying Lil Wayne’s CDs for a dollar.”
Ward left the city when he was 18. He said it’s hard not to notice the area’s pervasive gentrification when he returns: “Every time I come home, it’s just more and more overt.” But that doesn’t erase what the city means to him. South City is still “the greatest city in the world” to him.
For Thursday night’s show, Ward will be joined by fellow St. Louis artists pinkcaravan! and Jerei. He wants listeners and those attending the show to remember one thing:
“Throughout it all, just remain calm.”
Tickets to Thursday’s show are $15 in advance and $17 day of. Visit blueberryhill.com for more information about Jordan Ward’s concert.
