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Editor's note: This story first appeared in our 2020 Private School Handbook.
The back-to-school season could be jarring for students who’ve spent the COVID-19 pandemic in close contact with their parents or caretakers. It could even cause separation anxiety.
Beth Mosher, head of school at St. Michael School of Clayton, acknowledges that the sudden change in routine may be hard on kids, especially those younger than fourth grade. Students adapted to online classes but may eventually have to readapt to in-person learning.
“I believe that when students return, it’s going to be a bit of a shock to them,” Mosher says. “I think that they’d be coming back from being with a very small family group to suddenly re-entering the building and separating from Mom and Dad.”
Mosher describes this anxiety like a red balloon inside a child’s head: The more anxious a child gets, the larger the balloon grows and the more space it inhabits, making it harder for the student to listen to directions. “Kids show anxiety in many different ways,” she says. “Sometimes they’re just sad, sometimes they’re angry, sometimes they’re in tears, and sometimes they refuse to do things because that’s their way of getting control of the situation.”
Celeste Chappuis, guidance counselor at Crossroads College Preparatory School, says she’s also concerned about students who already have an aversion to school, particularly slightly older students. “I think there’s a school anxiety or separation anxiety, which I think is more typically seen in younger students. Then, as they grow and develop, school avoidance can become a thing,” she says. In those circumstances, communication between educators and parents can aid planning for the transition.
Chappuis suggests reducing anxiety by ensuring that students are getting enough sleep and communicating with them. Along with separation anxiety, students may experience other stresses when they return to classes. Parents should listen when children express concerns and try to find a way to soothe their fears.
Reminding students what they like about school, or the “happy situations,” can help settle their nerves, Mosher adds. Showing photos of the school and classroom, for instance, can help with the adjustment. Interacting with classmates online, over such platforms as Zoom, can also help remind them of the fun they have with their friends. “If you tell a story about ‘Remember how much fun school was…?’ I think that’s really going to help,” says Mosher.
Tiffany Khang, school counselor and director of equity and inclusion at The College School, believes that although the initial separation and unknowns may be intimidating, many students will be ready by the time they return to school.
“More than likely, there’s this urge for both parents and kids to want to eventually go back to spaces of being with their friends and maybe even work,” she says. “I think that desire is probably strong for a lot of families across the world.”
