Courtship: Neither Brian Witkin nor Vanessa Woods expected to find their homes in St. Louis, and each other, even less so. “We would have never crossed paths. We have nothing in common,” Vanessa explains. Except music. Both East Coast natives, Brian (Southington, Connecticut) relocated here in 2012 to sell biotech equipment. Vanessa (Cinnaminson, New Jersey) joined the Saint Louis Ballet in 2010. The couple matched online a few months after Brian arrived. On their first date, Brian asked her what she enjoyed about woodworking. She told him it was a mix-up—he had been confused by one of her profile photos, DIY table sanding—and explained that she was actually a dancer. Vanessa laughs that Brian is the first guy she’d seen seem disappointed to be out with a professional ballerina.
Proposal: Four years later, Brian proposed to Vanessa in the middle of jostling, frustrated symphony-goers. His game-time mentality led him to do something that, though not the most practical, became one of the most monumental occasions of their lives. Brian reached out to the symphony to orchestrate the special moment before the show. In the middle of Powell Hall’s grand staircase, he knelt down, then took Vanessa—and hundreds of people—completely by surprise. Crowd reactions varied from shocked and awestruck, craned necks and phones filming, to grumpy and oblivious, rushing around the couple to find their seats. For Vanessa and Brian, it was a still moment.
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Ceremony: The couple chose their venue long before their engagement, though neither knew the other had done so. A few years earlier, on a date at Chaumette Winery, the chef, a friend, invited them to camp in the surrounding woods. They quietly crashed a wedding that night, and, though neither said it aloud, they knew Chaumette was the spot. On the drive to the winery, it rained torrentially, but, a few hours before the event, the sun rose. Ninety-five guests gathered under a rainbow for the light-hearted ceremony. A circuit judge and friend officiated, which the bride and groom co-wrote. A friend read the poem, A Lovely Love Story. The mother and grandfather of the bride provided live piano accompaniment.
Reception: More than three-quarters of their guests from all over the country had traveled to the event, so an STL city-to-country-themed wedding felt seamless. Friends and family enjoyed jewels of the St. Louis cityscape like Lafayette Square Park and Milan restaurant at the rehearsal before heading to the winery. Vanessa and Brian wanted to show off the beauty often overlooked in “flyover country” like rural Missouri. Rustic and romantic décor throughout the barn included soft white lights, chandeliers, and delicate crystal vases of wildflowers and ranunculus. In addition to a family-style dinner of comfort food favorites like cheesy mashed potatoes, treats from the Blue Owl bakery, including gooey butter cookies, were served. Everyone built their own s’mores at fire pits decorated with fleur de lis. The bride and groom made place cards with wine corks from around the world, assembled with dried flowers and twine. Brian, a self-described “skyscraper,” joined Vanessa for dance lessons before their wedding, and the pay-off was incredible: his dances with Vanessa and his mother—their song was “Rainbow Connection” by The Muppets—became some of the day’s sweetest moments. People asked if they had hired dancers for the evening, unaware that Vanessa’s colleagues and friends, professional dancers, were also guests. Feeling the intimate, inclusive energy among attendees, some who were strangers, held Brian and Vanessa in awe. The genuine camaraderie that one night could create amazed and humbled them.
Now Vanessa teaches ballet exercises in assisted living communities through her company Vitality Ballet, Brian is still in sales. The week of their wedding, they bought a house in Lafayette Square.
