Seems like there’s a grinning skull or fiendish ghoul behind every pumpkin spice latte these days. The message is clear: It’s Scary Season. As we approach Halloween, it’s worth considering that you have options for just how much you want the bejesus scared out of yourself.
Level One: Hayrides and Cider
Is all that scary stuff just not for you? Rather not explain to little ones that there really isn’t a monster in the closet? Fear not.
At The Magic House’s Not-So-Haunted House, kids can trick-or-treat with characters from The Wizard of Oz, Peter Pan, and Harry Potter. Participants get an autograph book and trick-or-treat bag.
Take a tram ride in the dark at Grant’s Farm, and check out Halloween-themed shows. Decorate a pumpkin and do the Monster Mash if you’re so inclined.
Several county parks are running hayrides throughout the month. Call ahead to reserve your seat. Enjoy historic homes and storytellers at Faust Park, bluegrass music at Jefferson Barracks or spot (non-scary) creatures in the dark at Lone Elk Park.
Depending on how well your inner GPS system works, a corn maze could be a little scary. The Great Godfrey Maze in Godfrey, Illinois has a Harry Potter theme this year. At Brookdale Farms, pick your own pumpkins, get lost in a corn maze, or ride a pony. Be warned: There is a scary corn maze too. Choose wisely.
Level Two: Curated Terror
Are you after actual fright, but with someone else handling all the details? St. Louis has a wealth of truly scary haunted houses, purely for adults and masochists. Be sure not to let your foot poke out from under the covers after checking these out, because something has definitely followed you home and taken up residence under your bed.
The Scarefest franchise is in full swing, with three options and cinematic-quality sets, monsters and terrible scenarios.
The Darkness is in Soulard, right next to the Soulard Market, is crawling with zombies and serial killers. Mind the "Sawzilla" human-killing machine—it seems like a horrid way to go, as does the meat-hungry Venus fly trap.
Creepyworld in Fenton is huge with a dozen ways to lose your cool, including a Zombie City Paintball Hayride, St. Lucifer’s Hospital, and Supermax Escape from Rikers Island.
The Abyss at the Lemp Brewery has the added credibility of real-life scary stuff, taking place in the caves under the brewery where the cursed Lemp family made and lost its fortunes. Find yourself alone in the subterranean dark, with creatures at every turn.
Halloween night, Johnnie Brock’s Dungeon is throwing a Fright Night bash at Ballpark Village with a DJ, band, booze, costume contest and a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Red’s Corn Maze Massacre at Brookdale Farms pits visitors against possessed demons angry about a chemical spill that destroyed the farm’s chances at agricultural success. Go visit Red’s brother, Farmer Bob, for a hayride through the same tragic tale.
Level Three: Cardiac Event
Are professional ghouls just not getting your heart rate up high enough? There are plenty of options that require you to lace up a pair of sneakers and run for your life.
This Saturday, learn just how much Zombies Hate Fast Food on a trail run in Castlewood State Park. Prizes—such as not getting infected and keeping your brain—will be awarded to the top finishers. Cool T-shirts will also be available. The race starts at 9 a.m.
At Gateway Paintball in Bridgeton, ride through a haunted forest and take aim at the stricken undead. Check it out Friday and Saturday nights in October.
Fright Fest at Six Flags runs weekends through November 2. Ride coasters in the dark, get lost in a hay maze, and stroll the Macabre Mansion. Those pesky zombies have invaded Six Flags, too, so take your best paintball shots during the Zombie Paintball Apocalypse.