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Peace, joy, thankfulness, and more are celebrated as generations gather for Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s. But also inevitably present for many is feeling stressed out, no matter the level of one’s faith or how much they love their family and friends, say mental health experts.
Who’s hosting what and making what food? Will the weather cooperate? Will my train or plane be on time or late when I travel? How are we going to handle discussions of hot-button issues when we disagree on political and social issues? These are just some of the many questions that can make a normally calm person feel anxious.
Accelerating the anxiety is COVID-19, the percentage of Americans who aren’t vaccinated and say they are not planning to do so, and vaccinated individuals who have or are preparing to tell their unvaccinated family and friends they can’t be together this holiday season for health and safety reasons. Federal health officials announced this month that about 70 percent of the U.S. adult population is fully vaccinated against COVID and more than 80 percent has received at least one dose of a COVID vaccine.
“COVID is a divisive force in more ways than one, and it is contributing to increased stress in social and family interactions,” says Suma Chand, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience at the Saint Louis University School of Medicine.
Chand says she has some patients reporting distress over the prospect of telling unvaccinated loved ones they can’t be with them during the holidays. “It can be particularly problematic for those individuals who tend to worry about displeasing others and this distress increases tenfold when it has to do with people who are important to them,” she notes.
When relaying the decision, try to be loving and kind with no judgment, Chand recommends. If guests include young children not yet eligible to be vaccinated and adults with compromised immune systems who could develop serious complications from a breakthrough infection, include the desire to protect everyone’s health and be as safe as possible, says Sarah George, M.D. George is an associate professor of infectious diseases in the SLU School of Medicine.
There’s no one reason as to why some people believe anti-vaccine information over scientific studies demonstrating the safety and efficacy of COVID vaccines. In some cases, individuals can be persuaded to be vaccinated, notes Chand and George. While most of George’s patients are vaccinated, some are not, she says, adding, “I talk with them about their concerns and what scientific research says about the vaccines and their importance.”
In the case of loved ones who believe that vaccinations are dangerous, if heated arguments occur and persist, it may be that both sides will have to agree to disagree, according to Chand, who says, “Maintaining the relationship keeps the door open for dialogue. A day may come where what you say starts to make sense to them, and they take that step to get vaccinated.”
Virtual gatherings may be one way to help unvaccinated family members still feel a part of a holiday meal or activity, Chand says. Some families, depending upon where they are gathering, may be able to eat outside, thereby lessening the potential of unvaccinated guests spreading COVID, says George, who like other physicians across the country, have said it’s safe for vaccinated individuals to gather together for the holidays and offer ways for safe gatherings when some guests aren’t vaccinated. The CDC offers extended information at Holiday Tips.
