Photograph by By Keith Allison
The St. Louis Rams failed to get Julio Jones in the NFL Draft, but they did get Robert Quinn—and that pleasant piece of drafting, combined with the dulling effect of the NFL Lockout, was enough to let us go about three weeks without hearing about how much the Rams need a wide receiver. But no longer—there are a million aging, head-casey wide receivers on the market, once the market is open, and the Rams have been linked with every single one of them.
Starting with none other than Randy Moss, a year removed from playing badly for three separate teams but only two years removed from being Randy Moss, Hall of Fame wide receiver. The Rams' new offensive coordinator, Josh McDaniels, was instrumental in Moss's first resurrection when he was offensive coordinator of the New England Patriots, so this rumor is likely to float around until the moment Moss is signed somewhere else. It's also the best-case scenario.
Getting rapidly crazier and less effective, the next option is Plaxico Burress, who's missed the last two seasons because of a weapons charge stemming from carrying a loaded handgun in the waistband of his sweatpants. The good news is that Burress was, in 2008, a tall, dangerous deep threat, which is exactly what Sam Bradford and the Rams need. The bad news, in descending order of badness: He spent two years in prison; he's "been sued at least nine times since joining the NFL"; he's 34-years-old and hasn't played in the NFL in two years, because he was in prison; he wears sweatpants in public. He's been connected to the Rams because sportswriters must think the Rams are really dumb.
Also on the market are such aging luminaries and former eccentric-stars as Steve Smith, Chad Ochocinco, and Terrell Owens. None of these players are a mortal lock to make the Rams' receiving corps any better in 2011, but they're all a lock to make it—more interesting, in a Monkey's Paw kind of way.
