If you’ll recall, this past Saturday was the type of day that signals the real, true, no-joke arrival of spring. We had a goodly bit of warmth. A dose of day-long sunshine. A sky with streaks of clouds, but nary a shadow to be found. It was the kind of offering that had people of all stripes outside, taking part in every manner of wholesome, outdoorsy goodness.
But even on a day like that, there are always some outliers, the kind of folks that would rather squirrel their hours away in a dark tavern than hang around in all that natural beauty. That was undoubtedly true on both sides of the river on Saturday, but we headed to Illinois for investigation. The car’s top was down and there wasn’t much in the way of a plan as we worked our way south, from one tavern to the next.
The point of it all wasn’t to waste away a gorgeous afternoon. (For sure, that was an unavoidable side effect.) It was meant to take a peek at whether, or not, the non-smoking law was having any impact on the equivalents of corner taverns throughout southwestern Illinois. While you could spend an entire evening trying to locate a law-bending, smoke-friendly bar in Chicago, in our neck of the woods, Illinois bars are as lit up as they’ve ever been. We popped through three of them at random. To be fair, we’ll note that each of the trio had doors open, giving a bit of natural smoke-eating to the establishments, though none of them were so shy as to hide away their ashtrays for the asking—a common tactic on the Illinois side.
Here’s our rundown:
Tony & Joe’s II
1414 7th St., Madison, Ill., 618-876-0313
There aren’t a lot of unabashed Chicago Cub bars in our region, but Tony & Joe’s isn’t circumspect in keeping a Cub-centric vibe alive. Instead of the obligatory, weathered photos of Busch Stadium and Tony LaRussa, T&J’s is covered with posters of Wrigley Field and (the recently departed) Lou Pinella. On Saturday, the conversation wasn’t about baseball, though; it primarily centered on when a lawn mower poker run was coming to the bar. Literally, a parade of blade-free riding mowers were expected at any minute, and the assembled fivesome at Tony & Joe’s alternated their attention between that topic and a few others: auto parts and police violence and women’s breasts took up the majority of the mental space. Reflecting the working-class feel of the venue, the AB was flowing and the smokes were hot; at one point, four of the five guests, along with the bartender, were enjoying a puff simultaneously. If you’re looking for a place to catch a Cubs game and to knock back a square, Tony & Joe’s II, just off the Madison Avenue drag, is the place to be this spring and summer.
Blondie’s
6113 Forest Blvd., Washington Park, Ill., 618-875-9404
A combination of roadhouse and grindhouse, Blondie’s (pictured above) has alternated for the past half-decade between strip club and simple, end-of-the-road tavern. These days it’s the former, though the only performer we saw on-stage was up there to wipe down the pole with sanitizer spray. The other two, along with a half-dozen regulars, were throwing darts, shooting pool, chatting up the bartender and, yes, smoking. Located on the edge of a soybean field, across the street from another such establishment (and blocks away from three more), Blondie’s had a strangely non-sexy vibe on Saturday afternoon. Bar sports were more attention-grabbing than private dances, and the conversations were taking place in hushed tones, heard at about the same sonic level as the music, which was equally quiet. Odd spot. One and done and onto...
The Brandy Inn
103 Water St., Cahokia, Ill., 618-337-1101
Now here’s a true small-town bar, just (as all the commercials say) minutes from the Arch. Located a couple miles south of the nightclubs-and-industry milieu of Sauget, the Brandy Inn is a popular spot for Harley riders, who basically made up the whole six-person crew of the Brandy on Saturday; at least until the arrival of a pair of comely young ladies, who were on a beer break, killing time between a wedding and the hours-later reception. The fact that the bartender could call out information on the groom was almost expected. After all, every discussion focused on the minutiae of where people lived, used to live, or might someday live, with all of them hailing from some combination of Columbia or Cahokia or Dupo. Only one smoker was at the bar and his pack stayed next to the ashtray on our visit, giving the room the most breathability of our stops. It was also the place that would be the most recommended, as is, with friendly service, a nice-looking menu of pub fare and that full-on, authentic, corner bar feel.
