In the course of fact-checking an upcoming story last week, I learned a few interesting things:
1. Throughout much of the U.S., including our fair state, diesel-drinking, invasive feral superpigs whose squeals rival a Concorde jet in volume are now on the loose. (True story—I know a guy who bought a rifle just so he could go hunting for some.)
2. As I was subsequently informed by our dear managing editor, who spent a good part of his youth down on the farm, the reason the farmhands in The Wizard of Oz scurry so fast to get Dorothy out of the pigpen when she falls in is that pigs will, if sufficiently hungry, eat a young woman alive. For this reason, he says, the Mafia has been known to throw its "squealers" to the squealers.
3. Finally, a delightful tautology, which I overheard said managing editor mumbling to himself as he paced the halls last week: "It takes a big pig to weigh a ton."
I thought you should know.
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In unrelated livestock news, I recently received an email here at the office requesting a product known only as "goat tote." Per said email:
"*Hello Good Day, This is Jim, With regards to your Company i am sending this email Regards to order some (goat tote),i will like to know the type and sizes you have in stock and get me the sales price of one so that i will tell you the quantity i will be ordering, and if you accept credit card as a form of payment. hope to read from you soon about my order request..."
Does anyone have any idea what the mysterious yet clearly much-desired product known as "goat tote" might be? —Margaret Bauer, Associate Editor