Andrew Hammer’s mustache has its own Facebook page. That’s a level of tonsorial awesomeness most of us will never know. His handlebar ’stache is not only a minor celebrity, but a moneymaker: Hammer has just been named “Man of the Year” in a national facial-hair contest put on by Wahl Home Products (a manufacturer of mustache trimmers), and the award came with a $1,000 check.
What does it take to maintain that level of manscaping, and why do women keep trying to yank his mustache right off his face? We spoke with Hammer about the whys and wherefores of his photogenic philtrum fuzz.
Congrats on your award! Thanks. That’s not the best photo of me, on the Wahl website, though. I was so hung over I could have passed out when they took that photo.
You have a Facebook page, and then your mustache has its own Facebook page. That started as a joke. A friend made a joke that I should do it, and I did. I forgot that I had it, but within a few weeks, I had a few hundred friends on it. I haven’t updated it in like a year.
Does your mustache have its own name? No, but there are a couple of bars I go to where friends will greet me by saying, “Hello, Andy Hammer’s mustache.”
I understand your mustache goes with your persona as a carnival sideshow performer? I help out at the Beggar’s Carnivale. I’m Handlebar Hammer, and I have a partner called Priscilla Pincushion. She gets onstage, puts like 10 to 20 needles into herself, and I’ll put 10 more in her. She bleeds a little bit, everybody gets freaked out, and she ends the show on a bed of nails—which I made—where I put a few more needles into her face. One of the needles goes in one cheek and out the other. I tug on it and it makes her cheek move and everybody just kind of goes, “Ewwww!” I just worked at Naughti Gras. I was working the absinthe bar and helping drinkers “find the green fairy.” I took a short break to do a show with Priscilla.
How did you wind up entering this contest? I get asked to enter facial-hair contests all the time, actually, and I’ve turned down every single one. It’s just not my thing. But then when I was at Taste of St. Louis last year, the Wahl razor people had a booth, and they tried to pull me in and trim my mustache. I said no, and then they asked to take my photo and enter me into a contest, and my cousin convinced me to go ahead. There was one other contest I was involved in; I was a guest judge at the Grovefest facial-hair contest last year.
What did you do with your $1,000 prize? Honestly, it just went to pay bills, but I did have a few drinks, of course. I got a nice glass of Scotch.
Do you use “product” in your mustache? I do. But DNA is on my side—it curls naturally, but I do put a little bit in there. It’s called Clubman. It’s in a tube. Then I have a more stiff one I use if it’s raining. It comes in a tin, and it’s called Hndlebars. I’ll carry the tin around in my pocket, but I typically put it on in the morning, and it stays good all day long, unless I’m drinking a pint of beer—then it gets in the way.
How long have you had it? I’ve had it for about four years. Everyone thought it was stupid before it became popular. [Laughs.] I’ve had other things. Actually, I was in St. Louis Magazine when I was 21 or 22, about 11 years ago, because of my leopard-spotted hair, when I was a bartender at Tangerine. I used to have a green mohawk. I’ve had a trucker ’stache. This one just stuck.
Do the ladies gravitate toward the mustache? It does draw attention, but drunk women have a tendency to think it’s fake and try to pull it off in a bar. There have been a few women who’ve pulled it so hard they’ve pulled me to the ground.
Describe your grooming regimen. How often do you trim it? Once a week, I trim it. As long as I keep it this short, it stays curly. I use scissors on the tip, and I use an electric beard trimmer on the other part that’s not curly.
I have a beard and mustache, but I can’t get my mustache to grow as thick as yours. It’s my Sicilian heritage—thick Italian hair.
How long will you keep the mustache? I never know if I’m going to shave it off; it could go either way. One day I may wake up and want to do something completely different.
What do your parents think of the ’stache? My mom loves it. My dad thinks it’s silly. He asks me all the time when I’m gonna shave it off.
Do other guys stop you to trade facial-hair tips? It seems a little funny to sit down and have a mustache conversation. I do have a lot of guys that stop me and show me their old ID photos and say, “Look, I used to have a mustache!”
