The latest nonsense out of Jefferson City comes from the Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE), which is pressing on with its Missouri School Improvement Program. It would include new statewide tests, and high-school seniors could look forward to another state exam at the end of the year.
So far, DESE has not determined if students have to pass the test to graduate. Why then is the test needed? It will be used to determine if a school is doing its job of educating students.
Teacher-to-student ratio is not part of the equation, nor are factors like the students' socioeconomic status. Art courses and physical education will have no bearing on the final score either—no one cares about those classes anyway, right?
Like Gov. William J. Le Pétomane in the movie Blazing Saddles, I can just imagine Commissioner of Education Chris Nicastro telling her board members, "We've gotta protect our phoney baloney jobs, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!"
So they have come up with this series of tests. All students, regardless of school district, would take the same exam. A Ladue student would take the same test as a student from a city public school. A Kirkwood student would take the same test as a student from Nixa, Mo.
But wait—there's more. Districts also would have to compile the percentage of students who earn an associate’s degree within three years or a bachelor’s degree within six years. In other words, if a student is accepted to a college or university and parties his or her way out of school before graduating, this is the respective high school’s responsibility to track.
I’m not making this up, folks.
What else is new in our state capital, though? Whether elected or appointed, our so-called leaders seem to be in a contest to determine who can come up with the most disastrous plan for public education.
