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livinglikealady.com
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livinglikealady.com
Cancer is never easy. The physical and emotional effects are hard enough, and then there are other, less obvious, struggles, especially for women. Donna Heckler, who was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in 2010, knows these problems first-hand. This August, her book Living Like a Lady When You Have Cancer was published, featuring tips and anecdotes from her experience. Recently, Heckler, who now serves as the chairman of the board for the Cancer Support Community of St. Louis, spoke with us about her book and her journey.
Tell me about your story and what compelled you to write this book.
The day I was diagnosed, I had interviewed to be a chief marketing officer for a company. The question, “Do you focus on cancer or live your life?” came to mind. The doctor said to live your life, so that’s what I tried to do. I wrote down a lot of notes, and some of the things that bothered me most were things that nobody told me. For example, I knew I would lose my hair, but I didn’t realize I would lose all of my hair—things like that are what propelled the book. I didn’t want it to be about my own journey as much as offering information on the things that can help you to embrace life and feel radiant.
What makes cancer especially difficult for women?
There are things that we as women deal with. For instance, when you are on chemo, there are a lot of steroids, which can make your face puffy and hides your eyes. How do you apply makeup that allows your eyes to pop? Your face also may have brown spots from chemo, so how do you cover that up? What clothes do you wear? If you had a major surgery, you’ll probably have significant tubes collecting fluids for awhile, so what do you wear when you’re dealing with that? Also, you get really bloated with chemo treatments, so it’s probably best not to wear skinny jeans—silly stuff. There’s also a chapter in the book on the amazing way women come together to help one another when they find out someone they know has cancer.
What are some of the struggles that people don’t anticipate or don’t readily think of when they’re diagnosed with cancer?
In addition to losing all your hair, you’ll be told by the doctor not to go to the dentist. There’s a great risk of infection when a dentist does anything in your mouth, so I didn’t go. Once I was cleared to go, the dentist said he wished I had called because when chemo destroys your salivary glands it also destroys your teeth, and he could have given me special toothpaste to prevent that. Nobody should have to get four crowns after cancer treatment. Also, nobody knew to tell me how to eat. Things tasted very metallic, and someone suggested using plastic utensils instead of silverware, which made a world of difference. All those things are simple, but they can really help improve your life.
What are some of the biggest takeaways you hope your readers will learn?
When we get cancer we don’t have to be defined by it, we can choose to live. And not only live, but live our best life. What I’m hoping is that people learn that they can still be who they are and still be beautiful inside and out.
What’s next for you?
I’ve put up a website, livinglikealady.com, which gives people access to many of the tips and resources in the book. I’ve also set up the Living Like a Lady Charitable Foundation, which helps connect people with other cancer organizations that offer support.
