This past Saturday, St. Louis had the pleasure of hosting a parade for the returning troops from Iraq. I am thrilled that the troops have finally returned home to their loved ones and their former lives as they knew it before departing. As a former veteran, I realize that it is never easy being away from those you love. I am also reminded that in times of war there are many troops that do not return, and I pay homage to them as well. For those troops returning home, there is often a period of readjustment as wives, loved ones, and households can seem foreign, making it difficult for the returning veteran to know where to fit in. In addition to the emotional adjustments, there may be medical concerns that troops face as a result of casualties of war.
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that one medical concern of the Iraq war is the potential long-term effects of mild traumatic brain injuries or concussions from blast explosions. According to the journal, soldiers with mild traumatic brain injuries, primarily those who suffered loss of consciousness, were significantly more likely to report poor general health, missed workdays, medical visits, and a high number of somatic and post-concussive symptoms than soldiers with other injuries. Former veteran and current St. Louis resident Mark Z. shares, “When you’re deployed, there’s a level of uncertainty. Not knowing how long you will be gone and what you may encounter is unnerving." Mark also states that it is often difficult knowing what your role might be when returning to a family that has continued to function without you. Mark shares that although he was not injured during his deployment, there were some emotional hurdles.
According to military.com, being aware of the four emotional phases of deployment can help families and loved ones during times of transition. These phases include:
• Pre-Deployment Phase (6-8 weeks prior to deployment): Feelings in this stage may include fear, anger, denial, resentment, excitement, and guilt. Common thoughts include, "What will I do without him/her?"
• Deployment Phase (during the deployment): Feelings in this stage may include relief, anxiety, enthusiasm, pride, and sense of abandonment. Thoughts associated with these feelings include "What if something happens that I can't handle?" Reactions during this phase may include a change in schedule (eating and sleeping habits), intense busyness, establishing routine, and being independent.
• Reunion Phase (1-6 weeks prior to reunion): Feelings in this stage may include anxiety, excitement, guilt, fear, and elation. Thoughts associated with this phase may include, “I’m managing just fine without him/her or "I wonder if he/she still loves me." All of these feelings and thoughts are normal.
• Post-Deployment Phase (1-6 weeks post reunion): Feelings in this stage may include euphoria, resentment, and role confusion. Although this is an exciting and happy time for most couples, it is often the most difficult period. The service member may feel displaced and no longer needed in the day-to-day functioning of the family. The spouse may feel resentful when the service member attempts to take charge of an activity (finances, discipline, and parenting).
In any event, when family and loved ones are educated regarding these emotional phases prior to deployment they are better equipped to help their loved ones and themselves. Remembering to listen and validate each other’s feelings is vital to working towards readjustment.
Aline Hanrahan is a Licensed Professional Counselor practicing in St. Charles and St. Louis counties. She specializes in individual, child, family, and marriage counseling and has serviced the mental health and public school systems for 20 years. For more info, visit alinehanrahan.com.
