In her 40s, Dr. Amelia Jo Mitchell says she thought her dream of becoming a psychologist was impossible. It’s too late, she thought.
Then, her therapist advised her otherwise and gave her a new perspective—be 50 and a psychologist or be 50 and wish you were.
“If you have a dream, follow the dream,” Mitchell, 64, says.
Mitchell has been a psychologist for 14 years now and has counseled inmates, the ill, and military couples. She has traveled to places like Germany, Portugal and Japan for work—another aspect of her life she says she never dreamed she would do.
In November, Mitchell accomplished another challenge: publishing a book. She debuted Lemon Pie: Lessons from Unlikely Places to Nourish You in Troubled Times, a compilation of two- to four-page non-fiction stories derived from Mitchell’s own experiences and those she’s observed.
Mitchell says being open to opportunities in her life have led her to these self-prompted feats.
“It’s probably because I learned somewhere along the line if you say yes more than you say no, even if it’s a little bit scary or you’re a little uncertain, you can figure things out and there are wonderful opportunities out there,” she says.
What would develop into the book started with a simple vignette about an armadillo. While counseling at Fort Leonard Wood, Mitchell says she saw an armadillo on the side of the road. The creature moved steadily away from the road.
“I was glad that it moved away from the side of the road, because I recalled what happens to these nocturnal animals when danger looms and fear sets in,” reads Lemon Pie.
What happens is that armadillos can react to danger in two ways, Mitchell says. They can curl into a ball or jump into the air to scare away the opponent. Mitchell added humans, like armadillos, also have natural defense mechanisms.
“If we feel that there’s danger in anyway whatsoever, we defend ourselves the very best we can,” Mitchell says.
This encounter with the armadillo prompted Mitchell to sit down and write. What resulted is the vignette “Lessons From an Armadillo,” which touches on human fear.
“…there is another kind of fear that haunts humans; it results from insecurities arising from daily encounters with ourselves and others. We fear that we aren’t as important, smart, right, acceptable, or lovable as we hope we are…Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to others when our biggest fear is that we will be found wanting is what trust is built upon…”
After writing “Lessons From an Armadillo,” Mitchell decided she would continue to write short stories and compile them as a gift for her two sons. But with more thought, she expanded her audience.
“That’s when I thought, ‘This book is really about relationships. Perhaps what I have to say can be helpful for more than just my children,’” she explains. “So, I decided to take on the challenge of being part of the solution, hopefully, instead of what I see as some real problems in our society. And that was the beginning of Lemon Pie.”
Mitchell continued to write vignettes, but her developing book was without a title. Then, one morning, it came to Mitchell.
“The book is essentially about life being like lemon pies, which are both sour and sweet. Only when experienced together will we experience the full flavor of each,” Mitchell says. “It seemed like such a perfect analogy.”
Lemon pie is one of Mitchell’s favorite desserts and a reminder of the relationship with her mother. When Mitchell’s mother would visit, Mitchell would make her mother lemon pie. After doing this for some time, Mitchell’s mother made a confession.
“’Honey, your pies taste like cornstarch, because you don’t cook the lemon filling slowly and long enough!’” reads the short story titled, “Lemon Pie.”
Mitchell says the purpose of that lesson is look at criticism as someone else being helpful.
“The vignette is really about how we talk to each other, how we deliver our message so that it’s really heard instead of taken as a criticism and bringing up defenses again,” Mitchell says.
Mitchell adds that a major issue that faces people today is the disconnection from relationships due to new technology.
“We are coming more and more disconnected from one another. And at the same time, we are the most depressed, anxious, compulsive society that’s ever been recorded. The numbers of those mood disorders are skyrocketing. So it seems that a country that has so much, wouldn’t have those problems. I think we’ve been misled to think if we strive for more material things that we will be happier somehow."
“There are some pretty powerful forces out there but they aren’t necessary to help us. They’re out there to make money, sell goods. We’re kind of being led to think we can live in a virtual world, and we can’t. We live in reality. And so it really doesn’t matter how many friends we have on a social networking site. It’s not the same as having a real friend you can interact and talk to and put your arms around.”
Mitchell says a consistent message in the book is empowerment through taking responsibility of self.
“It’s a book that encourages people to see how they’re really doing in their relationships. Are you happy and content with your life? If you’re not, you’re the only one that can change it,” Mitchell says. “Because probably one of the biggest messages that runs throughout the whole book is that we are responsible for just one. And in a way that should be very freeing.”
