Experiencing grief is a normal process that all individuals experience at some point in their lives. It can present itself in many forms: Grief may come through the loss of a loved one, home, employment, divorce or a significant relationship. However grief presents itself, it can be very real and painful for the person experiencing it. How a person deals with grief is both unique and individual to each person. Some individuals may become visibly withdrawn and depressed, while others may seem unaffected.
One thing is certain: If the loss is significant, there will be a period of grieving. When we think of loss, we are often told by those closest to us, or by professionals, that there is a grief process which encompasses stages that each must work through before getting to a place of acceptance.
What is often left to ponder for those in the grief process is how to pick up the pieces and continue on and, more importantly, what to do? Handling the business affairs of a lost loved one, in addition to burial preparation, can be overwhelming to those left behind. Knowing the process, how to implement it, and what comes after can bring comfort and a sense of relief for those handling closure to a loved one’s life affairs. Below are some helpful tips from Tisha Diffie, founder of After the Fact- Final Affairs, that might be useful for those needing guidance.
5 things that should be done right after the death of a spouse:
• Call the 3 credit agencies and put a fraud alert on the Social Security number.
• Run a final credit report on the deceased from all 3 credit agencies.
• Keep the primary credit card and the deceased drivers’ license with you.
• Punch a hole in the driver’s license and passport.
• Get all the paperwork together for the insurance companies.
5 things that should NOT be done right after death of a spouse or other loved one:
• Don’t cancel the deceased's primary phone right away.
• Don’t cancel the primary credit card right away.
• Don’t inform everyone about the death right away.
• Don’t put an obituary in the newspaper unless it’s necessary, and then keep it simple.
• Don’t make any major decisions without consulting a professional first.
• BONUS: Have the mail forwarded to a third party. Volume increases after death.
Also, consider making sure loved ones who are still living designate someone to handle their affairs after they are gone. Making sure that loved ones have a living will/trust or power of attorney can also make the process easier and avoid feuds between family members. If you’re feeling too overwhelmed and need additional help, contact your local funeral home or church. They have trained professionals available to help you easily maneuver through the process and in many cases can also offer grief counseling.
Many times people might not know what to say, but knowing that they can be helpful and useful to you in your time of grief can bring comfort to you and to them. Everyone benefits. Whatever you are going through, remember you are not alone. It’s okay to ask for help. Below are helpful links that might help get you through the process.
