Of the many skills I want my kids to exhibit—besides kindness, generosity and patience—resiliency is at the top of my list. From experience I know it doesn’t matter how you get knocked down, what matters is that you stand back up.
My children haven’t faced many disappointments. Sure, Joe didn’t make the honors orchestra in fifth grade, and Jessie didn’t get a part in the first school play she auditioned for. But, in general, most of the things our kids attempt they achieve. So I’ve often wondered what would happen when they’re met with disappointment. Will they rise to the occasion and decide to try again, or turn inward and decide it’s not worth the effort?
For advice on raising resilient kids, I consulted with licensed psychologist, Susan Kent-Arce. Here, she offers five strategies for developing resiliency in kids:
1. Provide a supportive environment where children are loved unconditionally and valued for who they are. A strong social network for children is also important so that they learn empathy and compassion for others.
2. Provide a safe environment for children to express their emotions and thoughts so that they know it’s ok to have these feelings. Pay attention to thoughts and make sure children are remaining hopeful for the future.
3. Help children learn to problem-solve and make decisions in the face of a difficult situation. This way they learn that they can control the consequences of the decisions they make.
4. Help children learn from their experiences by understanding that mistakes provide helpful feedback for the future, which will increase their coping strategies.
5. Help children set realistic goals that encourage their strengths and help to promote competence.
