Your normally calm kid is so anxious about leaving for camp you’d think he’d seen every movie in the “Friday the 13th” franchise. But there’s no reason for parents to panic and cancel camp reservations. Even children who are excited about leaving home could still experience separation anxiety that results in dreams, nightmares, or a generally foul mood.
“Anxiety disorders in childhood and adolescents are quite common and many will experience some type of anxiety disorder before adulthood,” says Catherine Hutter, a psychologist at St. Louis Children’s Hospital. “Going to sleep-away camp encompasses many developmental tasks; leaving the secure base, functioning independently, taking social risks, and integrating new skills. It may be that all these challenges overwhelm a child’s coping strategies.”
Parents and caregivers can help kids cope by acknowledging and addressing worries while focusing on all the fun to be had at camp. Before the big day, brainstorm to help children come up with their own strategies for surviving separation and keep goodbyes short once it’s time for you to drop them off. If you visit during parents’ day, emphasize accomplishments over apprehensions. Getting advice from camp counselors and directors who deal with homesick kids every summer can also be beneficial.
“Be prepared, visiting may reactivate some separation anxiety, but parents should stay focused on the success the child has had in managing their worries up to that point,” says Hutter, who specializes in psychotherapy for children and adolescents with psychiatric disorders such as depression and anxiety. “Parents should focus on the positive and be reassuring and encouraging. Remember, your child is looking to you for confidence that he or she can master this task.”
Some separation anxiety is normal, but if it persists or becomes particularly problematic, parents and caregivers should make sure there isn’t an underlying issue, such as bullying, and possibly seek professional advice and assistance.
“If a child is newly distressed by something not previously anxiety-producing, and if that distress interrupts a child or family’s functioning, a professional opinion may be helpful,” Hutter says. “The usual rule of thumb is if the above has been a significant problem for more than six weeks, it may be time to talk with a primary care physician or a specialist.”
Here, Hutter offers additional advice on dealing with summer and school year separation anxiety.
Charlene Oldham is a writer and teacher. She lives in Crestwood.
