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So much can happen on a university campus, from a creepy compliment to a sexual assault. There is, of course, a difference in magnitude, but the lesser offenses aren’t trivial, says Miriam Joelson, a graduate student in social work at the Brown School at Washington University.
“Even if it’s just a suggestive comment or a playful grab or consistent interruption of women in the classroom, it breeds a certain acceptance, a sense that it’s OK to perpetuate these power dynamics,” she says.
In 2016, while working at Google, Joelson founded Project #HereForYou. A survivor of rape, she wanted to raise awareness of the psychological trauma that follows sexual violence. Since #MeToo—coined earlier by activist Tarana Burke with the same goals—and the Time's Up movement went viral, some have argued that the movement’s message has been diluted. But Joelson says any kind of sexual harassment can be traumatic and demeaning. “When a professor makes a pass, you might start to think, ‘Well, maybe it wasn’t my intelligence that made them take an interest in me—and that self-doubt can last.” And on dates, she says, there’s a need for the cultural understanding of consent to shift even further: “The way we’ve taught seduction—just think of the language! ‘Scoring.’ ‘A notch on my belt.’ It hasn’t exactly set us up for consensual, mutually enjoyable encounters.”
Though she’s seen progress, the cultural understanding of consent needs to shift even further: “We’re moving the conversation from ‘No means no’ to ‘Yes means yes,’” she says, explaining the new standard of “enthusiastic consent” that’s finding its way into the law. “It’s not just OK if someone doesn’t say no; it’s only OK if someone knows exactly what they’re getting into and has every right to revoke consent at every moment without shame or humiliation or a comment like ‘You promised!’”
Sexual harassment can lead to “the same symptoms seen in PTSD”—increased risk for depression, anxiety, hostility, and substance abuse—says Kim Webb, director of the Relationship & Sexual Violence Prevention Center at Wash. U. Why? Because sustained harassment threatens a person’s boundaries and control of the situation and can threaten one’s future career or financial wellbeing.
Wash. U. bans even consensual relationships between undergrads and faculty or staff. In other situations that involve a power imbalance, one person is expected to leave his or her position if the relationship is to continue. At the University of Missouri–St. Louis, “consensual amorous relationships between members of the University community are prohibited when one participant has direct evaluative or supervisory authority over the other.” Saint Louis University lays out a strict definition of what constitutes harassment and warns that “anyone who engages in a sexual relationship with a person over whom s/he has any power or authority within the University structure must understand that the validity of the consent may be questioned” should a complaint be made.
All of these policies were in place long before #MeToo, but the movement’s making them felt. Universities are now teaching “active bystander intervention” so onlookers can lend support and raising awareness so would-be harassers can understand the consequences of their actions.
If a victim feels able, Joelson says, it’s worth saying, “Here’s what you did. Let me explain how it hurt me.” Slinging labels only puts up a wall of denial. “The cultural shift [we] need is for people who have overstepped the threshold of consent in any way to just listen. What did I do, and how can I educate myself?”
