Courtesy of Amanda Woytus
Armory STL 2
These people certainly don't look like they're having a bad time.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that I love my friends and want to spend time with them, but I don’t want to leave my 3-year-old on the weekends. Thus, I am forever on the hunt for places to go where my 30-something child-free friends can hang, my son will be entertained, and I won't feel guilty about forcing everyone to be together. So when Armory STL (3660 Market) opened, I was intrigued.
The Armory is a 6-acre indoor space with yard games, putting greens, arcade games, food, and drinks. When it opened, in December, I looked at the initial photos and decided it probably wasn’t a family-friendly space. I mean, have you ever tried to play cornhole with a 3-year-old? It’s not a blast. But as time went on, I started seeing more photos of parents with little kids enjoying themselves there. There are seesaws and a two-story slide, so maybe it is kid-appropriate? But then I remembered that it also bills itself as the biggest bar in St. Louis, and, indeed, there’s more than 500 feet of bar space.
So which was it? Could you take a little kid there and not only feel good about them being in the space but also actually enjoy your time there? (My darling son, if you are reading this in the future, I do enjoy every moment with you, I promise, but some are more fun for Mommy than others.) I conned my husband and son into going on a Saturday afternoon to investigate. Was it entertaining? Yes, but you should read on for my tips.
1. The official word from the Armory: This is a space designed for grownups, so keep that in mind if you choose to bring your children. When we visited, there were a lot of kids there. Most of the parents I chatted with were checking it out for the first time, just like us.
2. Go during the afternoon on a weekend. Monday–Friday, all guests must be 21 and over. Saturday and Sunday, anyone under the age of 21 can come with an of-age guardian from 11 a.m.–6 p.m. However, that schedule isn’t completely consistent because the Armory hosts special adults-only events and concerts. Check the website and social media for scheduling updates before you embark on your Armory journey.
3. There is alcohol. The drinks were flowing on the Saturday we went, but everyone was chill and well-behaved. I spotted two broken glasses—one near an air hockey table and one near the stairs on the second floor. It’s probably a no-brainer, but if your toddler is in that phase where they put everything in their mouth, and especially anything on the floor in their mouth, keep a close eye on them.
4. If you can, rideshare or take the Metro. There are two lots available for parking—one is near Goodwill, and one is past the Armory building. You can also take a shuttle from IKEA on Saturdays. It took us quite a while to find parking, and every precious minute you spend hunting for a spot, your toddler will inch closer to melting down. If your kids are old enough to ride in a car service without a carseat, or if you’re a whiz at installing a car seat with a seatbelt, that might be a good option. The Grand Metro stop is also visible from the parking lot.
5. There is definitely enough going on to entertain your kids. Putting greens, a giant chess board, swinging chairs, seesaws, cornhole, and horseshoes all kept my kid occupied. There was also badminton, table tennis with huge bouncy balls, and something I would describe as human pool, which we didn’t try but looked amusing.
6. The arcade games are really fun. My son had a blast playing a couple of games of Super Chex and Skee-Ball. Both were $1.25 per round.
7. The slide is twisty and fast, and you can’t ride with your kid. My son loved it, but your mileage may vary. The adults I observed riding loved it, too.
8. There are plenty of bathrooms. But in the one women’s bathroom I checked out, there was no changing table.
9. It’s loud. How loud? I wondered. I pulled out my decibel meter app on my phone (yes, I’m that mom), and the loudest it got was 99 decibels. The average was 84. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that infants aren’t exposed to volumes greater than 45 decibels, so use your best judgment.
10. The food smelled really, really good. I was chasing a 3-year-old around, so I didn’t have time to eat. If you want to make sure you get the chance to taste the menu, bring another adult who can watch your child while you wait in the line for food, which was long but moved quickly.
The bottom line from Mom: This is a place for adults, but if you keep a close eye on your kids, you can definitely bring them as well as your adult friends on a weekend, and everyone will have a good time.
The bottom line from Mom's Kid: I asked my son if he had a good time. “No,” he said, clearly lying to get a reaction from me, because he had a blast, as you can see from the reel below. Check it out to see more of our experience at Armory STL.
