Photo courtesy of Pam Wilson.
My 19-year-old son Joe is home for almost a month between working at sleep-away camp most of the summer and going back to school.
He is bored out of his mind.
I can tell because he’s in front of the TV for long stretches of time, which I don’t think is a bad thing but I wonder if it’s a good thing when there doesn’t seem to be any other activity. The kid worked hard last year at college as well as during eight weeks of camp. A little downtime is deserved.
But still.
When my kids were little and they would tell me they were bored, I would answer, “You’re in charge of your own boredom.” I have to admit I seldom heard this because my kids loved to be outside playing street hockey, riding their bikes, or playing on the jungle gym and on the trampoline. Even in our wintery cold, my kids would layer on the clothes and play outside.
Twice last week I found Joe outside shooting hoops. I smiled because I understand he’s trying to figure out his downtime, too.
As excited as he is to go away to school, and as excited as he was to work at camp, I know that he is glad to be home. He is touching base with his high school buddies and has been with them almost every day.
After Joe was home a full week and I was in and out trying to give him space but also offering my time, my husband commented, “Can you do more with Joe? He’s so bored.” Well, sure, I would love to.
And then who would do the laundry, plan, shop and prepare the meals, pack lunches, feed the dog, organize schedules, answer my e-mail, pick up the house (because you know I’m the only one doing that), load and empty the dishwasher and oh, yeah, take care of myself, too?
I half resented this comment.
Why is it my job to entertain a 19-year-old?
Because that’s what it would feel like. I love spending time with Joe, but when I offered a bike ride and a movie on the same day he said, “That’s a lot of you time.” I agree.
Here’s the thing.
As a young adult, he has to learn how to spend his downtime. If he’s bored, it’s his responsibility. He has a car, the Internet and friends. As well as an imagination.
On Saturday he spent almost the entire day sorting through camp and college photos, listening to music and preparing his meals.
He didn’t seem bored at all.
