Photography by Whitney Curtis
Program director Mariesha Martin (center) speaks with Washington and Daja Wells
It was not welcome news when Rachele Johnson found out she was pregnant. “I cried,” she says. She was 19 and in her first semester at Harris-Stowe State University. “I grew up in a family where getting pregnant at a young age was unacceptable,” she says, “so the first thing I thought about was getting an abortion.”
It turned out she was already five months pregnant, too far along for an abortion. She told her parents a month after she found out, on the same day that she first felt the baby kick. Her mother was supportive, but her father refused to speak to her. At the time, Johnson’s family was homeless; their landlord had evicted them to sell their apartment, and they were struggling to find a new place. Johnson was alternating between sleeping on her aunt’s and grandmother’s couches. Overwhelmed, she dropped out of Harris-Stowe.
Johnson still didn’t think she needed help when she heard about the Girls’ Night Out program, then called Mommy & Me, a resource for young mothers run by Neighborhood Houses, a former settlement house that specializes in early childhood education and after-school programs.
The group met at Caroline Mission, Neighborhood Houses’ early childhood education center, near Lafayette Square. “I was kind of skeptical,” Johnson says. “But from the first meeting, I was comfortable sharing my story and being around other females who were in the same situation I was in.”
She set goals with the help of Billie Thurmond, the program’s director at the time. “She and my mom were telling me, ‘You don’t have to drop out of college. You don’t have to stop pushing toward your goals. Having a baby doesn’t stop you.’”
Thurmond, or Miss Billie as the girls called her, drove Johnson to Harris-Stowe and helped her re-enroll. She also helped her find a job with the work-study program at the school’s child-care center.
Johnson gave birth to a daughter, Aliyah, in February 2008. Her father began talking to her again. When Aliyah was 6 months old, the family found an apartment, and Johnson became a teaching assistant through Harris-Stowe. Finally, Johnson graduated from the Girls’ Night Out program.
"Our world is not made for teen moms,” says Mariesha Martin, current director of the Girls’ Night Out program, which enrolls mothers who are 13 to 18 years old. “The biggest challenges are barriers to goal accomplishment. A lot of times, there’s not a strong support system. It’s a system of trying to take from the mom, rather than trying to help support the mom and give her additional help to succeed.”
Girls’ Night Out focuses on keeping the girls from getting pregnant again, but it also gives them a chance to celebrate motherhood with their kids and each other. The program includes excursions to the circus, Hibachi Grill, and bowling alleys. They take cooking classes and make ice cream together. Following Wyman’s Teen Outreach Program, a nationally replicated, evidence-based, best-practice program used by schools, communities, and youth practitioners, the group also has one-on-one mentoring, guest speakers, and counseling sessions; lessons in how to write résumés and apply to college; and lessons in co-parenting and how to handle the stress of parenting, school, and work.
“The mentors run far with us,” says Kenyada Dailey, age 19, a recent graduate of the program. “They help us on a personal level because they give us resources about housing and if we don’t have a car seat and stuff like that.”
But the most important benefit, Dailey says, is the friendships she makes. “It makes me feel like I’m at home or around my family,” she says.
On a Wednesday evening in the summer, four of the girls in the program are fussing over the group’s newest addition, a 3-month-old baby dressed in black leggings, a white T-shirt, and soft baby shoes that look like high-top sneakers. One of the girls’ 3-year-olds is making hay with a collection of tricycles stored in the room while her Elsa backpack sits on the table.
They’re gathered for a special meeting of Girls’ Night Out. (The program runs during the school year, with smaller events over the summer.) A shuttle bus picks them up before the meeting and drops them off at the end of the night. The children are always welcome to join, and a child–care provider is on hand to watch the kids during the meeting.
“Are you still breast-feeding?” 17-year-old Asia Caldwell asks 18-year-old Chelsea Washington, whose 3-month-old is being fawned over. Washington shakes her head. She stopped after two weeks. Caldwell says she stopped after three.
“But I wish I’d done it, because I run out of formula,” Caldwell says. Washington says she gives the baby prune juice, too. Another mom, whose baby is home with his dad, is passing around her phone so others can see how quickly the youngster is growing up.
After Martin makes a few announcements, the girls eat dinner and then play an icebreaker. Martin passes out a handout. “This is a values auction,” she says, handing out play $100 bills. The girls are told to bid on different items, such as “getting my high school diploma” or “graduating from college.” The idea is to help the girls prioritize what they value. Being in good physical shape and having a successful career are top sellers, while “being a virgin when I get married” is skipped.
Though the girls are mostly out of play money, the most excitement comes at the end for “having someone believe in me.” After Martin reads it out, Caldwell promptly stands. “All my money!” she shouts. Other girls stand, too, and ask for money back, so they can buy it. Everyone is shouting; colorful bills are held aloft. When everything settles down, Martin reassures all of the girls that she believes in them.
The item sells for $300.
The best thing that Girls’ Night Out has to offer young moms is support,” says Johnson. “The mindset of families is, ‘OK, you had this baby. Now it’s time for you to grow up.’ You’ll be amazed at how some of the girls who come in don’t have any support.”
Johnson, now age 26, with curly hair and soft eyes, is at the meeting with her 7-year-old daughter, Aliyah. She’s now the program coordinator and helps organize activities, runs the group’s social media accounts, and assists Martin with meetings.
Johnson had been out of the program for about nine months when she found out that one of the moms in her class had been murdered by the father of her child. “It was an upsetting time,” Johnson says. “She had just made a Facebook status—I’ll never forget it—where she said she was ready for a change.”
Johnson attended the funeral and ran into Miss Billie, who asked Johnson if she wanted to work for Neighborhood Houses. Johnson agreed. She led one of the after-school programs and watched the children during the Girls’ Night Out meetings. The girls in the program gravitated toward Johnson. “I can relate to where they’re coming from,” Johnson says. While working as program coordinator, she’s taking classes at Harris-Stowe and hopes to graduate soon. (Last year, 93 percent of the girls in the program went on to the next grade-level or graduated from high school, thanks in part to the support Girls’ Night Out offered them.)
The Girls’ Night Out meeting is drawing to a close. Those in attendance talk about how to get healthcare, before gathering in a circle to share final thoughts. Caldwell says she’s been working all summer to get her high-school diploma; she graduates in October.
“Stay strong for a few more months,” Martin says, “and we’ll all be at your graduation.” Caldwell also has found a rent-free apartment, thanks to help from the family-service organization Youth in Need. Everyone starts cheering.
Caldwell smiles. “It’s been so hard this year,” she admits. “But it finally feels like it’s getting better.”
