When my kids were younger, I remember an early childhood educator who advised us to “Put your oxygen mask on first. You can’t help anybody if you don’t help yourself first.” It took me a while to understand exactly what she was talking about.
When you first become a parent, you want to do everything for your child regardless of your own well-being. I remember countless sleepless nights because I had a baby who didn’t sleep through the night. I thought it was my job to be there for him regardless of the placement of the sun.
As time as gone on, I’ve learned to take better care of myself. After all, as a parent, I am still a person.
When my kids were little, I took care of myself by walking. Every day I could I loaded up the baby, the dog, the diaper bag, and we walked. By the time my son, Joe, was 4 months old I had also enrolled in a Babes in Arms class and found my tribe amongst a group of women who became the Playgroup Moms. When class was over, we kept meeting once a week and then we began to meet once a month for dinner. Eighteen years later, we are still meeting and laughing and enjoying one another.
Jessie came along when Joe was almost three. I took care of myself by taking naps when the kids did. Not sure how I did this, but I managed to get them both on an afternoon nap at the same time. It saved me.
Reading and joining various book clubs over the years has kept me grounded as well. I continue to read as much as possible even today as it feels like a good way to keep myself sane, current and happy.
When both kids were old enough to be in school, I began going to the gym and taking weight lifting classes. The transitioned into Zumba and even yoga. As long as I do something physical once a day, I seem to be able to handle the stresses of being a parent better.
Girlfriends help, too. Over the years, I’ve made sure that I either walk or ride my bike with friends to catch up or meet up for dinner and movies. It’s not all the time and I can’t imagine doing this when I had tiny babies, but as time progresses, our needs change and I’ve tried to stay in-tune to what I need.
It’s taken all of 18 years to understand that if I don’t have my oxygen mask on I will be of no help to anyone around me. I have to take care of myself in order to take care of my family. That way, we all thrive and survive.
