My 7-year-old daughter is an extremely picky eater. If she won’t eat the family meal, do we send her to bed without dinner? Force her to sit there until she eats?
Sure, send her to bed without food, or force her to sit there…if you want dinnertime to be a daily war. Mealtime can create wonderful family memories, long-lasting traditions, and positive, healthy associations with food. Involve her in grocery shopping, cooking, setting a festive table, and making good conversation. Put out mealtime options, but don’t push it. If she eats cereal and strawberries every day for weeks but mealtime is a pleasure, count your blessings and put your energy elsewhere. This will change.
How do I handle a playground bully targeting my kid?
Try this three-part plan:
1. Check in with your child and see whether he was bothered or the issue is yours. If the latter is true, read no further.
2. Point out the undesirable behavior: “Did you like it when that child _____? That can hurt people. In our family, we don’t push/shove, etc.”
3. Create solutions. Involve the other child in a game, e.g., “We don’t play like that, but do you like to play hide-and-seek?”
Alternatively, he can move away from the child, tell him to stop or go away, ignore the behavior, or leave. Your role is to support your child as he learns that not all kids are nice all the time, while empowering him to recognize he has options beyond being the victim.
My twins miss the age cutoff for school by a few days. I’m worried about them being the youngest…but I worry about holding them back, too.
Parents make themselves insane about myriad issues—this one ranks high. There are advantages and disadvantages to both options, and these vary by child, school, grade, class, gender, and more. Recognize that you can find anecdotal and research-based pros and cons to either decision, and in the absence of clear indications that your child is not ready, neither choice is definitively more right than the other. Unless you make it an issue, your child will accept his or her place in the age continuum with nary a thought of it being any other way.
My 18 year old is terrible with money. She’s headed to college this fall. Any suggestions on how to develop better money sense?
Put her in charge and don’t be afraid to let her fail. Give her a certain amount of cash, or her own limited debit card. Agree on what she needs to buy, and set her free for a few months. But be prepared… often parents struggle with this as much as the kids. Anticipate tears, screams, begging and pleading as she realizes she can’t afford the movies because of that last trip to the mall. Remind yourself that she is learning a valuable life skill –with some inevitable pain along the way. Don’t bail her out. She’ll learn pretty quick!
About the Family Coach
Debbie Granick (314-413-1391, debbiegranick.com) is a licensed clinical social worker and registered nurse who has a private practice in Clayton.
