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"What is the one item that waitstaff seems to always forget to bring when asked?" —Ellen S., St. Louis
Some Ask George questions are weighty and thought-provoking, while others (like today’s query) are trivial and frivolous but entertaining.
Chances are all diners have been on the receiving end of a forgotten utensil, beverage, or condiment, but once placated, they rarely give it a second thought. We asked a few members of SLM’s dining team if they’ve noticed any generalizations.
Emily Wasserman: "Water! I just had a bad dream about this recently. It wasn't a nightmare, but sometimes you're thirsty and you have to wait too long."
Collin Preciado: "I was likely the absolute worst server in the U.S. during my brief stint in the industry, so you would be lucky to get anything extra you requested, be it a spoon for your soup, more napkins, or some crackers for your dangerously bored toddler. If you were unfortunate enough to be in my section at a popular bar in Soulard during the baseball rush, there was a low possibility that you would get your beer within 20 minutes of ordering it. When I would finally remember to pick up the PBR draft from the bar, I would often come back to find an empty table due to my atrociously slow service. Most mom-and-pop restaurants make the server pay the costs of a dashing diner, even if they never received their order, so seeing me angrily chug an unwanted beer in the kitchen to recoup some of the value on it was not an uncommon sight."
Iain Shaw: "I wouldn't say there's one particular forgotten item, but there is one local bakery/cafe chain that serves an optional side of bread, chips, or apple with a meal. You state your choice, but it's more like a lottery which of those items you end up with, especially in to-go orders. I've ordered bread and gotten chips, ordered chips and gotten bread. Sometimes you get lucky and get two pieces of bread. In very rare instances, you get nothing! It's happened for me across multiple locations, so it's not a quirk of one staffer or one location."
Dave Lowry: "We’re not one to complain a whole lot about the dining experience. Lord knows restaurants have enough problems nowadays, and it's hardly fair to pile on. That said, is it too much of a problem to bring a spoon warmer when we request one? We’re at some classy joint, ready to tuck into a big steaming bowl of caldo verde or bouillabaisse or whatever, and we pick up our spoon and it’s like grabbing that flag pole on A Christmas Story. I mean, we all have to be willing to make some sacrifices. I get it. Still, dinner without a spoon warmer when one’s politely requested—I mean, it’s just uncivilized."
For me, the answer is ketchup, but oddly, only when it's being used for something other than French fries (like a dry hamburger). Servers always remember to bring ketchup along with fries.
We also asked a few restaurant owners for their thoughts:
Chris Kelling, Elmwood: "I’m not sure if there is one thing in particular, but I do know that every server worth a damn has been jolted awake by the thought of “Oh no! I forgot to bring Mr. and Mrs. Smith their______.” The worst, though, is forgetting someone's leftovers because it stings the memory of the experience."
Anonymous local restaurant owner: "Ranch, ranch, RANCH! It doesn’t matter how much we bring out, it's never enough. Stop asking for a side of it when you actually want a bottle."
Follow dining editor George Mahe on Twitter and Instagram, or send him an "Ask George" email at gmahe@stlmag.com. For more from St. Louis Magazine, subscribe or follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
