We know you’ve seen them. You can’t avoid them. The National insert-food-here Holidays: National French Toast Day, Vanilla Cupcake Day, Cashew Day. There’s even a National Scrapple Day, Vichyssoise Day, Raisin Bran Day, and Harvey Wallbanger Day. (Harvey Wallbanger Day? Who the hell still drinks those?) And all of the above fall in November! Yesterday was National Vinegar Day and today is Deviled Egg Day. And it's got us seeing red.
You’d think the absurdity would have topped out at the number of days in the year, but it didn’t. So happens there’s a lot of doubling and tripling up going on. Do we really need the confusion of November 13th being National Guacamole Day and National Pickle Day? Sorry, but our collective belly is full. November alone has 38 such holidays. And counting.
Mind you, all of this is official. Sanctioned by our government. Any interested person or special interest group with time and money to spend can lobby Congress to designate a National whatever Day. That’s how it’s done. We’re not sure where it will all end, but with contrivances like National Raisin Day, Spice Bar Day, and Candied Orange Peel Day, it has clearly reached the threshold of lunacy.
We should note that such National Days are not confined to food, and we''ll concede that occurrences like Earth Day or World AIDS Day have been invaluable in furthering national awareness, but do we really need additional awareness for Crab Newburg, Lemon Juice, or Bicarbonate of Soda?
And if this isn’t enough, you can even lobby for your own week or month: November is Georgia Pecan Month, as well as the one designated for Peanut Butter Lovers, and Peppers, Pomegranates, and Raisin Bread.
Some of us got upset when National Secretary’s Day spawned National Boss’ Day. Well, it’s gotten much worse. Or better. We take solace that November 19 is National Absurdity Day. Now there’s a holiday we’ll be celebrating.
