Regrets? We’ve had a few in our toil as culinary critic here these past twelve months. Along with some apologies for other assorted errors, myriad mea culpa, and a menagerie of misstatements. And before they show up on Wikileaks, we’ll air ‘em here first.
- We reported earlier this year that patrons sporting Justin Bieber hair-dos would be confined to the bistro section of the newly-renovated Herbie’s Vintage ‘72 and would be prohibited from entering the actual dining area. We have since been informed they will now be granted admission to all areas of the restaurant.
- The “Buy One/Get One Free Nights” on bottles of the 1961 Bordeaux featured in our review of Gerard’s was, we subsequently realized, our suggestion and was not, nor is it likely to be, an official policy of that restaurant.
- Apologies are due to Bridge Tap House & Wine Bar, over the beer glass broken there by our present wife during our review visit. That’s why we can never have anything nice.
- There appear not to be, contrary to our report earlier this year, any food trucks currently in the St. Louis metropolitan region, specializing in Rocky Mountain Oysters and named “Great Balls on Tires.”
- Contrary to rumors which we were far too hasty to pass on, local rest auteur/impresario Gerard Craft will not be co-opting still another local eatery and our story on the upcoming debut of “Woofie’s by Niche” was premature at best.
- Upon further consideration, our assessment of the yellowtail sashimi at Miso as “outrageously undercooked” was probably excessive. We stand by our position however, that many patrons will find this dish, “noticeably rare.”
- In a review this year, we described the sacral region of a waitress at Local Harvest Cafe as adorned with a tattoo of Irish claddagh knotwork. Upon subsequent examination, it was actually, clearly, a Celtic triquetra vesica design. Apologies are in order, due, and rendered.
- Our description of valet parking services for restaurants that have their own parking lots as “pretentious jack napery” was a misprint. It should have read “pointless exercise in overweening affectation.” We regret this error and hope the clarification will be useful.
- While we would like to go into further detail about the altercation in which we were unfortunately involved at Tony’s last spring, upon advice of our lawyers here at the magazine, we are unable to do so at this time. However, the Post-Dispatch’s characterization of it as a “table clearing brawl leaving the plush restaurant’s interior Lobster Albanello-bedecked and several stunned diners wearing ziti amatriciana,” is not an entirely accurate representation. And Mr. Bommarito did not, as was alleged by Ms. Deb Peterson in one of her columns, scream at us during the denouement of this incident, that “You’ll never eat another zabaglione in this town as long as I live!”
- Although the trousers we wore after Labor Day on our review visit to Brasserie by Niche were not technically white and were clearly described in the Bass Pro Shop catalogue as “Bigmouth Bass Belly Ivory” in color, we acknowledge there could have been some confusion on the part of some who saw us wearing them. We will be more prudent in the future.
- Apologies are in order to a dining companion with us for the review of Copia Urban Winery, whose name is Mr. Jon Ma and not, as we wrote and as was printed, Mr. John Ma. But come on, seriously. This kid’s in third grade and he gets to go out eating sautéed lobster and rock shrimp with farfalle in a saffron-sherry cream and then he sees his name in the review and all the sudden he’s like, whipping out his badge as Captain Prissystickler of the Spelling Squad, like “Hey, you spelled my name wrong,” like it’s the end of Western Civ because we stuck an ”h” in there. Like he’s gonna be all in trouble with the Social Register now because they won’t recognize him. Come on.
- And finally, our description of Provel cheese as “vile, mucilaginous glop with the approximate culinary appeal of Ghostbusters slime, better suited to tarring roofs or as an adhesive for collages assembled in kindergarten art classes,” does not necessarily reflect the views of the editorial staff of St. Louis Magazine.
