The curried goat at Overland’s Mi Hungry BBQ rates four stars. So does the smoked veal sweetbreads tortellini at Franco. What does that tell you? Nothing. That’s the point—or lack thereof—in restaurant star ratings.
Star ratings are for people who think they’re too busy to, you know, read a critique. It’s like, “I’ve got the meeting with Trump in 15, then have to be in surgery, but let me check to see if the restaurant I’m considering for dinner is worth my time. Oh yeah, four stars. Good to go.”
Restaurateurs work their tails off, presenting delightful innovations, reinterpreting classics, highlighting authentic cuisines, maybe even serving a decent bowl of chili. None of these things can be reduced to a simple star-rating system. What say we review your work for the past month and smiley face–sticker your résumé accordingly?
There are too many intangibles—from the ingredients to the server who’s distracted after a recent breakup—to get a read on a place with the same system you’d use to rank light bulbs. So peruse the reviews. Then tell our editor that instead of another star, we deserve a raise.
