St. Louis' food community has lost one of its legends. Herb Cray, long-time maitre d' at Tony's, died Tuesday, February 25. Silver-haired and poised, Herb epitomized the elegance of Tony's. He managed an exquisite blend of reserve and warmth for those he greeted and seated. For many of the young first-time diners at the restaurant, he must have been the most suave thing ever.
Herb could easily be imagined running operations at Buckingham Palace. When one of Joe's granddaughters rather uncharacteristically sounded intimidated by the idea of dining at this place her parents spoke of with such seriousness, I told her, "Just pretend you're a princess. That's how they'll treat you. But remember, princesses are always polite." Herb made everyone feel like royalty being taken care of by their staff. One friend speaks nostalgically of going there before prom and Herb being careful and kind with her totally fish-out-of-water date.
Vince Bommarito, Tony's owner, says Herb was a bartender, and then ran the old Arena Club. He hired him perhaps 32 years ago. "He was my friend, not just a fellow employee." Bommarito describes Herb as "impeccable". And, he adds, people ask about him literally every night. Of course, Herb also had the signature move at Tony's in the old location - he was the guy who walked backwards up the stair to the restaurant's second floor, an open mezzanine, as he took guests to their tables.
My best memory of Herb was on my husband, Joe's first birthday after we married. Joe's darling mother, a serious eater, took us out to dinner at Tony's. As we came in, I told Herb that my daughter-in-law was in labor in Washington, DC, so there might be a phone call. And sure enough, as we finished our entrees, Herb glided up to the table, beaming broadly. "Mrs. Pollack, you have a phone call." He paused, then added exuberantly, "And may I say - it's a boy!"
Rest in peace, sir. You showed the way it ought to be done.
