Q: I still don't get the whole tapas thing. If four of us order four different things, why can't the restaurant just serve them that way, instead of sending the items out seemingly at random? —Sunny B, St. Louis
A: Ooh, another question with thorns. I'll answer as a tapas restaurateur would.
The whole tapas concept is based on "small plates shared among friends," where alcohol (especially wine) and conviviality play as integral a part as the food. Tapas usually get ordered several at a time and, yes, they do arrive willy-nilly and in no set pattern, as soon as they are prepared, as is the custom in Spain, where the whole idea originated.
Tapas-style kitchens are specifically designed for this style of food: They're usually quite small, and with no heat lamps and not much of a pass-out window. Food comes up; food goes out. The model works best and most efficiently when the kitchen can follow this format. That's what traditional diners fail to grasp—it's supposed to be this way. It has to be this way. Coordinating long lists of $5-$10 items is inefficient and leads to longer ticket times and lesser-quality food...
However, as inexpensive, sharable tapas morphed into small plates, which in turn evolved into the $14 mini-entree, the situation has become a bit more complex. But to be on the safe side, follow this advice:
Diners accustomed to laying claim to the entirety of what they ordered, or who are otherwise averse to sharing, or cringe at the thought of a friend's knife scooping a bit of artichoke dip out of the ramekin you ordered, are hereby advised to avoid tapas-style restaurants. While some may try to accommodate by serving items in unison and to the person who ordered them, many simply will not, as they are not equipped to do so. The style and procedure are fixed, and if you can't roll with it, I understand. But don't try to beat the system and mold the genre to your needs, Mr. Man/Woman on a Mission. Chances are neither you nor the restaurant will be happy with the results, and stress is not part of any dining concept. You'd be better advised to simply choose another style of restaurant.
But as is the case with Modesto, Farmhaus, Momo's, Guido's, BARcelona, Roxane, Vino Nadoz, Balaban's, Mosaic, Boogaloo, Mojo Tapas, One 19 North, Cyrano's, Sanctuaria, Three Sixty, and other local iterations of the genre, you'll be missing out on some great experiences in food and fellowship.
