It doesn’t matter what kind you serve, my two cardinal rules when it comes to serving cheese at parties cannot be overstated. I’ve spent decades quietly observing and I have two conclusions.
Let me be clear. I like Picasso. I like board games with dice. I have built many igloos out of sugar. But when it comes to cheese, I’m anti-cube.
I’ve attended enough functions to know that if you start the evening with a plate of cubed cheese with toothpicks, you end the evening with a plate of cubed cheese with toothpicks. Cheese in cubes yells out, “I’m processed. Please remember, I’m processed. By the way, did I mention that I’m processed?” Cheese in cubes is a no-no. Incidentally, the same thing goes for cheese sliced in squares.
Secondly, please—I beg you—don’t line up your crackers! Lined up crackers say, “I’m perfect and if you touch me, you are going to ruin EVERYTHING!!” It’s bad enough that you actually have to slice into the cheese, but when you throw a cracker destruction into the mix, it’s intimidating. People want to feel like they can dig in and no one will be the wiser—a closet eater’s paradise.
To accomplish this, your cheese plate needs to be, well, messy. I achieve this by taking crackers and literally tossing handfuls of them onto my cheeseboard. Anyone who asks to help is required to throw them as well (which can be hilarious for some of my friends who are neat freaks). The result is a really appealing cheese display that invites people to eat.
Jacques Pepin has a great recipe for Fromage Fort in the event that you have any leftovers. I hope you don’t, but here it is just in case. Serve it hot—it’s delicious.
