We all know the term "metrosexual" by now. The guy with his Prada "man purse" and impeccable grooming routine. Those involved with a metrosexual in an intimate sense know the anguish of losing a perfectly good bottle of Kiehl's Creme de Corps to his side of the medicine cabinet or duking it out over who that Martin Margiela messenger bag really belongs to. When is enough enough?
And when is it not enough? I think a lot of guys have to wear suits to work, so when it's their time off, Old Navy plaid flannel and some sweats work fine. I'm not arguing with comfortable and soft, but when he is finishing off his casual luxe look with white tube socks and Birkenstock clogs, you have to wonder where to find middle ground.
Suits are the male version of a black dress—a total no-brainer. All he has to do is find some socks that sort of, kind of match and some shoes. Guys don't have much room to play in the creative arena, unless you think ties and pocket squares make for a good creative outlet. My son already thinks a battery-operated, lighted tie would be a wonderful thing that any man would be a fool to refuse wearing—my husband limits himself to Liberty of London florals. They don't get a whole lot of practice having fun with clothes without fearing the dreaded label: metrosexual. It's not a compliment.
In all the same ways you don't want a guy telling you what to wear, you really don't have much say in what he wears, even when he has his socks pulled up over his calves with shorts and Chuck Taylors. He has every right to look like an idiot. If he thinks tie-dye goes well with Madras shorts and black shoes, more power to him. Don't buy him new clothes, don't suggest you two go shopping together, stay out of it.
I would kind of like to see someone grown-up and remotely intelligent wearing a battery-operated tie just once though. Really, how much worse could it be than a T-shirt that says "This Guy Needs a Beer"?
Madeline Meyerowitz is the owner of enokiworld.com, a website specializing in vintage designer clothing.
Commentary by Madeline Meyerowitz