Hearing Richard Carpenter being interviewed by Terry Gross on NPR (to promote the remastered Carpenters collection 40/40) reminded me of one of the noblest missions of my life: to defend the music of The Carpenters from unfair, inaccurate and totally misguided accusations of being sappy. My dictionary defines sappy as “overly sentimental, silly or foolish,” none of which comes close to describing the intelligent AM pop music of this ‘70s-identified duo. In fact, if there were ever an instrument more pure, more honest, more carefully measured than the gorgeous voice of the late Karen Carpenter, it hasn’t -- at least to my weathered ears -- been invented yet. Silly? With a few exceptions, the Carpenters’ songs were serious by design. The music wasn’t a joke; nor did it resemble the hipper offspring of Lawrence Welk (which is the way some detractors probably hear it). And as for the “f” word -- there isn’t a single foolish note in the Carpenters’ entire repertoire.
It’s important to get the ducks of our music adjectives in a row. What is sappy sentimentality? If you ask me, it’s Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” “I’m All Out of Love” by Air Supply,” Melissa Manchester’s “Don’t Cry Out Loud” or “Cat’s In the Cradle” by Harry Chapin. I’m not putting down these songs. They’re well-crafted. They’ve been enjoyed by millions of people through the years, they’re still going strong, and there is nothing even remotely invalid about enjoyment. But it’s rough out there; and I would respectfully suggest that, in the musical jungle, songs like those I just mentioned veer much closer to the artistic quicksand of sappiness. So, let’s define silly. I can name several bands who wear their silliness like a (squirting) badge of honor. Immediately, for different reasons, Madness, the Village People, the B-52s, Too Much Joy and the Bonzo Dog Band come to mind. As for foolishness – it can apply equally to a humorless folkie, to Vanilla Ice, the Spice Girls and any number of time-expired “boy bands.” But the Carpenters – they were never foolish. I dare anybody to listen to “Rainy Days and Mondays” and not be pulled in by the pretty melody, not to mention the lyrical observation that sometimes we comfort ourselves by blaming depression on ephemeral symbols like the weather. And though some of the duo’s music may be unabashedly melancholic, it’s never histrionic. Exaggeration was unnecessary. Despite all of the strings, and the spacious sound afforded them by arranger-producer Richard, the Carpenters were tasteful masters of understatement. And that can’t be overstated.
With a predictable disclaimer that might have disqualified a more task-driven interviewer, Gross herself confessed she didn’t take The Carpenters’ music very seriously. Not until she gave it a serious listen. In the interview, opinions were on full display. Richard said he didn’t care for Sonic Youth’s languid cover of “Superstar” on the tribute album If I Were a Carpenter. The original version is like an arrow to the heart. Sonic Youth’s approach is more like a Quaalude to the frontal lobe. Still, I don’t think it’s that bad, actually -- mainly because Sonic Youth were one of the few groups on the collection to realize the Carpenters’ music was never uncool. It didn’t deserve the alt-rock steamroller. And it never asked –- by virtue of any intrinsic quality – to be made fun of. It was fun already, and could speak for itself. The artists who covered the Carpenters straight-faced on the tribute – Matthew Sweet, for instance -- couldn’t add a thing to the perfection of their legacy. It’s called the tribute trap. There’s a lesson here for snobs, avoiders and elitists: You can be a fan of the most avant-garde jazz, the most hedonistic punk, the finest country and folk – but if you don’t appreciate the one-of-a-kind beauty of The Carpenters, you simply don’t get music. Take that, Terry Gross.
Jordan Oakes is a local journalist who has written for publications such as St. Louis Magazine and the Christian Science Monitor. He has strong opinions that begin to atrophy if he doesn't exercise his right to express them. Tune in every Wednesday for another installment of Mediatribe - and if you missed last week's post, click here.
