I used to be one of those girls who carried a purse so big, it looked like I was hauling around a travel bag. I have bags with bottoms distant enough that they can only be accessed by sticking an entire outstretched arm in there. And while I hoard bags like some do quarters for the washing machine, I now like those giant bags more for the way they finish off some outfits than their practical side, which is, like, nil. I have even been known to use a ruffled laundry bag for a purse, the bottom of it lining up perfectly with the hem of my Marni skirt. What the heck was I thinking?
Ever since I had a kid, I've been all about the bag that requires no hands. Why would I want to lug a suitcase in my hand when that hand could be holding my son's? It's a no-brainer. And not all clothing has deep pockets either. Designers don't often put details like that in women's stuff because they want to sell you a handbag too. Very clever. I just want a bag that holds my keys, my wallet, my phone, and a few tiny extras. Is that asking so much?
My sister-in-law, Suzy, has this down to an exact science, leaving me scrambling to top her in the micro-accessory wars. Her boys are way older than mine, so Mother Nature schooled her in the foolishness of the big bag long before yours truly. Her tiny knitting needle gauges, strung like bracelet charms on vintage safety pins; her purple Hoechstmass measuring tape; and her luxury lip balms that cost more than most people spend on shoes—it's all so perfect and it's all there to please her and only her.
What started it, and is going to end it, was her wallet. I whipped out my engorged metallic purple wallet at a restaurant one night and she started to laugh. "What's so funny?" I said with an attitude. She pulled out, from her pocket and not a purse, a tiny little orange lizard Dick Muller coin purse that was so brilliant, I knew I had been trumped. It was the right size to hold credit cards and folded up bills, had a zippered coin compartment, and was still smaller than my iPhone! And when I asked to see it again the next day, she pulled it out of her pocket, handed it to me, and it was still warm. I love that. I've already ordered my own.
Madeline Meyerowitz is the owner of enokiworld.com, a website specializing in vintage designer clothing