Photograph courtesy of Donna Karan
Everyone knows you wear black to a funeral. It pays proper, somber respect to the deceased and the people grieving. But suppose nobody died and you're wondering how to get through the day when your heart is broken and you don't feel like making the effort to look good?
Does a divorce give you the reason to slump around with greasy hair wearing Uggs day after day, heaping your clothes in a pile by the bed only to wear them again the next morning? Worse, does it give you free rein to just sleep in to your bra so you don't have to hassle with the thing tomorrow?
Say your dog dies. The dog you've loved and been friends with for 18 years. Do you just put on the sweats in which you clean house and head out to a dinner party? "Oh, they know Pookie just passed away, they don't expect me to look human." Even if you're washing down Effexor with white wine, your oblivion and despair doesn't mean everyone else is equally oblivious. Nobody wants to sit across from you over arugula and chevre while you look like that. Not even your own mother.
Also, if your mother has just been diagnosed with end-stage dementia and you've had to send her into hospice, now is when you do not show up in Valentino thigh-high boots and a purse that costs the equivalent of a new sedan. Finding the appropriate attire for grieving requires thought. You don't have the emotional stomach for Pucci, but head-to-toe goth isn't going to make you feel any better about facing the day. Plus, putting on all that silver jewelry takes too much energy.
My advice? Cashmere. Good cashmere. Oversized cashmere. Grey cashmere. Maybe it goes back to being swaddled in your first baby blanket that was chosen for its softness, but a big cashmere sweater is going to let you hide for a little while and soothe you, both things you need when you're sad. No buttons, no decoration, plain. Take off your bra, even if you don't want to, and take the wine glass back down to the kitchen when you're done instead of leaving it on the nightstand. You can sleep in cashmere too, wear it to nibble on arugula and even to a funeral. A cashmere pullover is the sad girl's LBD.
And yes, I suppose it's so good that you could even wear it when you're happy.
Madeline Meyerowitz is the owner of enokiworld.com, a website specializing in vintage designer clothing.
